Grace
by Ronja-R
Summary: Continuation of "Baby Makes Three". Chronicles Grace's childhood, or at least parts of it.
1. Chuck and Blair

Well, here goes nothing =)

I've finally been convinced to post this. It's the sequel/continuation to "Baby Makes Three" and it's probably a lot easier to follow if you've read that first. To those who stumbled across this and don't feel like reading 50 chapters of another story first the gist is this: Blair was indeed pregnant in season one, she and Chuck have a daughter named Grace and they've been trying to work out various issues. One is Blair getting accepted to Yale and Chuck not wanting her to take the baby to another state, another is their feelings for one another. BM3 ended on Grace's first birthday when C and B decided to have sex first and talk later.

I've been really apprehensive about posting this for two reasons. 1) It's most likely going to be loooooong. 2) Chuck and Blair may be endgame but they're not going to be a couple for large parts of the story. As I've said in BM3 I want to explore them as parents separately, not together. I know I've gotten a whole lot of requests to continue the story and you have no idea how flattered I am but just be ware that you might feel disappointed that it's not Chair-centric. I'm still highly skeptical that there are lots of readers who would be interested in this story as it is but we'll see.

BM3 was a ridiculously long story (and this is a ridiculously long AN!), 50 chapters covering only 21 months. This story is meant to cover the rest of Grace's childhood so I don't even want to think how long it's going to end up being. I've decided to make the chapters much longer, like twice or three times the length of the BM3 chapters, and to make them slightly more fragmented. There might be jumps in time in the chapters and there might be a few different storylines covered each time. When Grace gets older it might even be one chapter per year of her life. We'll see. I don't even know if I'll end up posting more than one chapter for this.

Hm, let's see, what else… I borrowed/reworked a scene from the show at one point, like what I did in BM3 on occasion. You'll know it when you see it =) I think that's about it.

That's enough talking from me (for now). I hope you won't hate it!

* * *

><p>A loud noise slowly broke through Blair's ecstasy. At first she didn't even realize what she was hearing, she was so caught up in the waves of pleasure and the thrill of Chuck's highly intimate presence. Then the sound seemed to register with Chuck who stopped his movements and turned his head in the direction the noise was coming from.<p>

"Grace…" he panted.

"Don't stop" Blair panted back.

"Blair, the baby!"

"She can wait" Blair insisted. "Or Dorota can take her. Chuck come on, please don't stop now…"

"I'll go" he said.

Blair groaned and felt a bit like crying from disappointment and from the loss of body contact as he got up from the bed and headed off towards the bathroom joining Blair's bedroom and the nursery together. With a cry of frustration Blair sat up and very reluctantly got up to put on her satin robe. She walked through the bathroom and found Chuck leaning over the crib where Grace was crying furiously. He had grabbed a towel on the way and wrapped it around his waist. Blair would much rather make that towel drop to the floor than tend to a screaming one year-old but she knew there was no point in trying. With a sigh she walked over just as Chuck had lifted Grace up.

"Give her here" she said with little enthusiasm.

"It's okay, I've got her."

"Is her diaper wet? Does she need to be changed?"

"I don't think so."

"Let me take her, and you go back to my bedroom and put on boxers. That towel is too distracting."

He gave her a disapproving look for reasons she didn't understand and then handed the baby over and walked back to her room. With another deep sigh Blair adjusted her grip on the baby and looked at her.

"What do you want, Grace?" she complained. "It's the middle of the night and you should be sleeping. Your diaper is clean, you can't be hungry after everything you've eaten… Please, after everything I've done for you can't you leave this until morning?"

Grace refused to be bargained with. She continued to cry while Chuck came back, now obediently wearing boxers.

"What does she want?" he asked.

"Attention. That's the only thing I can think of."

"She doesn't usually wake up in the middle of the night screaming for attention" Chuck argued. "At least not since she got used to going to sleep on her own in the crib."

"What else could it be?" Blair asked, more than a little annoyed and frustrated.

"She had a piece of cake before she went to bed. Maybe her stomach hurts?"

"Is that it?" Blair asked the baby, gently bouncing her up and down.

"Or maybe she actually _is_ hungry. Lots of excitement today, lots of impressions, that takes energy. Maybe we should heat up some gruel or something and see if that helps?"

"Fine" Blair sighed, realizing that she wouldn't be getting back to screaming in bed herself anytime soon.

"I'll go down and heat something up for her then" Chuck said.

He was gone before Blair could ask him if he knew where to find what he needed to heat up gruel, or even if he knew _how_ to do it. But he returned ten minutes later with a bottle which Blair took and offered the child.

"Try sitting down" Chuck said.

"I know what I'm doing" Blair responded in a bit of a snarl and sat down on the couch. "I guess you were right. She's hungry. God Grace, you always eat like a pig."

Chuck sat down next to her but his attention was all on the baby. He gave her stomach a little rub but Blair smacked his hand away.

"Don't do that while she's eating."

After finishing two thirds of the bottle Grace pushed it away and burped. Chuck laughed a little and took the bottle into the bathroom to empty the rest of the gruel down the drain and rinse the bottle.

"We should stray from protocol and let her go to sleep in either your arms or mine" he commented. "After all the excitement today and all that… I think she could need it. Plus it sort of is her birthday still."

"Go back to bed" Blair said, adjusting Grace so that she was facing her mother while she reached for the pacifier on the table next to the couch. "I'll be right in. She's sleepy, it won't take long before she's asleep again."

With a nod Chuck finished his task and then walked back to her bedroom. Blair rocked the little girl back and forth, relieved when the baby went back to sleep within minutes. She rose from her seat and walked back to the crib, gently laying the child back down.

"Please Grace, no more drama tonight" she whispered.

She pulled the blanket up to the baby's shoulders and made sure the balled up scarf was within reach. Then she turned the lights off and with a relieved sigh walked back to her bedroom, eager to continue where they had been interrupted.

Chuck was back in bed but the look he gave her when she walked in was not the look she had been hoping for. He didn't seem to be thinking about sex in the slightest. She attributed it to simply having been thrown by the crying baby and estimated that she could get him back in the mood within five or ten minutes. With a warm smile she sat down on the side of the bed and reached for his hand.

"I believe that is the first time I've ever been interrupted during actual sex" she smiled. "Where were we?" She frowned. "And why did you blow out all the candles?"

"Let's just go to sleep, shall we?"

"Chuck…" she said, caressing his hand. "I don't want to go to sleep."

"She could wake up again at any given moment."

"She was hungry. She ate. She's not going to wake up anytime soon."

"She might need a new diaper."

"Chuck…" Blair said in a pleading tone, moving closer on the bed. "We have waited forever for this."

"Come on, get under the covers."

Smiling she let her robe fall to the floor and crawled underneath the comforter. When she pressed up against him she noticed that he was still wearing boxers.

"Why are you not naked?"

"Let's get some sleep."

"You want this…" Blair said, caressing his cheek and simultaneously moving his face towards her. "You want this just as much as I do."

She kissed him and for a few blissful seconds he reciprocated. Then he gathered all his willpower and pulled away.

"It's been a really long day."

"Chuck."

"Let's just get some sleep. We could both use it."

She looked at him with incredulity. He curled up on his side, signaling that he did indeed want to go to sleep. Not knowing what else to do Blair made herself comfortable next to him. She reached out for his hand and found it. He didn't draw his hand back but he didn't make any move to reciprocate either. After a few minutes his steady breathing told her he was asleep but for Blair sleep was nowhere in sight. She was too busy trying to wrap her mind around what had just happened and to make some sense of it. Why had he had a change of heart?

She fell asleep after almost an hour, mulling it over the entire time she lay awake. Chuck barely moved a muscle during that time and she didn't understand how he could sleep so peacefully.

* * *

><p>When Blair woke up the next morning Chuck wasn't in bed. She sat up, wondering for a fraction of a second if he was with Grace before she spotted him in the other end of the room. Putting his clothes back on.<p>

"What are you doing?" she asked. "Come back to bed."

"I should get going" he said.

"I don't know what's wrong with you at present, but just strip and get back into bed. We can have breakfast in bed with Grace. Like we did this summer. It will be fun."

"Blair I'm serious, this is a bad idea."

"What, sharing breakfast with our daughter?"

"Last night…" he began, searching for the right words. "Last night was a dream come true. It was incredible."

"I know" Blair smiled and patted on the bed next to her. "If you come back to bed you can experience it again before breakfast."

"Last night also reminded me why we can't do this."

Blair's face fell.

"Why… we can't… do this? Why we can't do what, exactly?"

"Be together" he said, tightening his belt.

"Why?" Blair asked with incredulity. "Because Grace woke up? Chuck that's absurd."

"Our focus should be on her. Not on each other. We've been so caught up in our own drama these past few months and it's not fair to her. Most parents struggle to keep their relationship alive when they have babies; they don't throw themselves into love affairs and frolic in bed at all hours."

"When did we become most parents?" Blair asked. "We're us. Chuck and Blair. Blair and Chuck."

"We're Grace's parents. That's more important."

"Chuck if we are together then that would make everything better for Grace" Blair tried to argue. "People are _supposed_ to be together when they raise their children."

"Normally I would agree. But this thing between us is just… It's too overwhelming. Look back at the past few months and tell me we haven't been putting way more energy into sorting out our relationship to each other than we ought to have. If we were to get together do you think everything would run smoothly? Because I don't. I don't know that I can be a devoted parent to her at the same time as I'm devoting myself to being a boyfriend to you. I can't do either halfway. I know you can't either."

"It's not going to be a problem" Blair argued, voice trembling.

"Blair last night you were more than willing to ignore Grace's cries and stay in bed with me" Chuck pointed out.

"It was mid-sex."

"After we stopped having sex you were still more focused on getting back into bed with me than making sure she was okay."

"Well I knew she wasn't in mortal peril" Blair snarled, subconsciously pulling the comforter up higher to cover her bare breasts.

"Still, you weren't focusing on her."

"She could have waited."

"What kind of an attitude is that?"

"She could have waited" Blair repeated.

"Waited? She was starving."

"She's always starving" Blair argued.

"So therefore we should _let_ her starve?"

"Maybe it's about time we taught her _patience_."

"She's one year old. The point is not even whether or not she could have waited. The point is what you prioritized above tending to her."

"Chuck we've been wanting this for a long time now so is it really strange that I wanted to enjoy it? Or at least I thought we'd both been wanting what happened last night. Maybe I was wrong to think so."

"Come on, that's not it and you know it. I was just as into it as you were until…"

"Until Grace woke up."

"She comes first, second and third in my book and I find it disturbing that you don't seem to feel the same way."

"So that's it?" Blair said and crossed her arms over her chest, tears burning in her eyes. "You can't be with me because of Grace?"

"Her needs before ours."

"You are an unbelievable coward."

"I am not a coward" Chuck replied angrily.

"Yes you are. You are petrified of giving this a real chance so you hide behind Grace. I mean, saying we can't be together because it would be bad for her, are you kidding me? I'm sure she will be horribly emotionally damaged from having her parents being happy together. Everyone knows that people who come from happy homes are emotional wrecks, right?"

"You just don't get it."

"No _you_ don't get it. You and me together would be wonderful for her because it would give her a mother and a father who were unified and happy. There is no better time for this than now, when she is little, because if there _are_ bumps in the road and difficulties adjusting then we should get that dealt with while she's too young to remember it."

"Blair I may have had a lot of women but I've never had a girlfriend. When I actually commit to a relationship I want to be invested one hundred percent. I can't give you that right now. I need to focus on Grace."

"You realize that you're saying you'll never have a relationship, ever, unless, God forbid, the baby dies before you do?" Blair scoffed. "We both know that this feeling between us is real. Sharing a child is icing on the cake, not a roadblock."

"Maybe you see it that way but I grew up with a father who always had other things that came first. I don't want Grace to come second with me and when she's this young that means girlfriends aren't important. You deserve to be with someone who will make you his main priority."

"I deserve to have the guy I have feelings for set aside all his irrational fears and insecurities and be there for me. This is not about Grace and you know it. This is about you and your inability to open your heart to someone. What is it you think that I might do to you Bass? Would letting someone care for you be that bad?"

Chuck tried his best to ignore what she was saying because he knew she had a point. He was terrified of opening himself up to her completely and giving her any bit more power over him than she already had. It was safer to push her away before she got a chance to do the same to him.

"The only thing I'm scared of is becoming my dad and not putting my child first" he said, trying to convince both of them.

"Then why did you sleep with me last night?" Blair asked coldly. "Why have you been chasing me for over a year and a half? Either you really do want me and you're a coward or you've just been attracted to me and you're the biggest jerk on the planet. Which is it?"

"I wish I could say I don't expect you to understand, but I do" Chuck said, putting his jacket on. "Your focus should be on Grace as well. This, us, seems to be too much of a distraction. You know I'm right."

"This is your last chance" Blair said coldly.

"I'm just going to check up on Grace and then I think I should leave" Chuck answered, heading for the door. "Look, I'm sorry."

"No you're not. But you will be. When Grace asks us why Mommy and Daddy aren't together. When you wake up all alone with nobody there who loves you. When I meet someone who's not afraid to feel something for me and you realised you threw away the best thing that could have ever happened to you."

"I didn't throw Grace away."

"You threw away the chance of giving her a real family."

"You're so sure that we could make it work. I'm not."

"Then get the hell out" Blair said icily. "And by the way? Last night was just me having sex for the first time in a long time. Don't flatter yourself into thinking that my eagerness had anything to do with your skills, or whatever you call it."

"It was what it was."

She had no idea what the hell those words meant and he didn't elaborate. He walked out of her room, heading to the nursery, leaving her fuming. She heard him speaking softly to Grace for a few minutes. Then he left and when she was sure he had gone he pulled the comforter up over her head and cried.

* * *

><p>"Are you going to be this theatrical every week?" Chuck asked with a sigh, holding the baby while Blair wiped a few stray tears from her face.<p>

"I can't believe I'm leaving her for a whole week" she said.

"Blair? This won't get easier if you drag it out for another ten minutes. Just kiss her goodbye and leave."

Blair nodded and more tears fell down her face. Grace eyed her with confusion. The little one had no idea what was going on other than that it was making her mother sad.

They were in the hotel room Chuck had rented after returning from the Hamptons a few weeks back. Blair had arrived half an hour ago to drop off Grace and whatever knickknacks she needed in addition to the paraphernalia in the hotel room. Yale orientation week had arrived and for the first time Blair was going to leave the baby for more than two nights in a row.

She gave the baby a kiss and then backed away. Grace reached out a hand.

"Ma… na" she said.

"Oh God I can't" Blair cried. "Chuck I can't leave her for so long! She will think that I've _abandoned_ her!"

Chuck kind of thought that was exactly what Blair was doing but he didn't voice that opinion out loud. The decision had been made and there was no point in trying to back out now. Yale was waiting. Instead of confirming her worried statement he reminded her of why she was on her way out the door.

"You're going to Yale" he said. "The college you've always wanted to attend, to get the education you've always dreamed of. It's just a few days, Blair. Look, if you feel the need to come back and see her when you have the time then just call and I'll send the chopper."

"Promise?"

"Of course I promise. Now go. Grace will be fine. She's with me all day today, all day tomorrow, all day every day, she will not feel abandoned. You were the one who said you didn't want to give up on higher education just because you had a baby, remember?"

"That's easier to say _before_ you have the baby."

"Go. It's okay."

She nodded and hurried to pick up her things. Their new arrangement was rather messy but they both viewed it as merely a temporary solution until they could find something more suitable. Blair was flying in to New Haven in Chuck's chopper for the orientation week and would be gone the entire week if she could hold out that long without the baby. While she was in New Haven she would try to find an apartment and once she had gotten one they would be trying to keep up an arrangement where Blair had Grace from Sunday night to Friday afternoon every other week, and from Monday night to Friday every other week. They both knew this arrangement was doomed to fail rather quickly but they had been avoiding each other as much as they could lately and chose to let the issue be for the moment.

"Bye sweetheart" Blair said to Grace, trying to smile.

"Wave goodbye" Chuck told the baby.

"Buh" Grace said and waved.

Blair waved back and then hurried out the door before she lost her resolve.

"There she goes…" Chuck mumbled. "Now it's just you and me."

In a way it was a huge relief. Ever since Grace's birthday a few days ago the two of them had barely been able to be in the same room. Today was the first day it had gone okay with no bickering and bitterness but that was just because Blair was so wrapped up in going off to Yale without Grace. Chuck hated the tension but he knew there wasn't much to be done about it right now; they just had to weather the storm. Weathering it in separate states seemed like a very pleasant option at present.

"We'll get by just great without her" Chuck said and kissed Grace's head. "Won't we Grace? You can have my full attention and Yale can have hers and when she gets back she can forget Yale for a few days and focus only on you. Doesn't that sound good?"

"Mama…" Grace said, reaching out a hand in the direction Blair had left.

"Mama will be back" he said comfortingly. "Until then you've got Daddy. Hey why don't we use this week to teach you how to say _Dada_?"

He walked over to the kitchen table and picked up her pacifier. She took it in her mouth and stayed quiet, but her eyes were on the door Blair had walked out through. She knew something different was happening.

"You're such a smart little girl" Chuck said. "You know she's going to be away for a few days, don't you? Poor angel…"

He kissed the baby's head and rocked her gently.

"Mama" she said again.

"I know, I know…" he said softly. "I miss her too. She'll be back. You will get to spend quality time with me until then. Won't that be fun?"

"Mama" Grace complained.

"Why don't we go see if we have any fun toys lying around?" Chuck suggested. "Or give Uncle Eric a call and see if he's doing anything."

Grace looked skeptic. Slightly nervous Chuck walked back to the bedroom with her. He was used to her crying and fussing whenever Blair left her but after their summer together in the Hamptons he had hoped she would be just as happy to be with him as she was being with Blair. But it seemed nothing could measure up to Mom.

"Tell you what, this is going to be a really good bonding experience for the two of us" he said to Grace, sitting her down on the floor and grabbing a toy to distract her. "When was the last time we had some lengthy father-daughter bonding time, huh? Unfortunately we might not get to see each other as much as I would like during semesters so we should make good use of this."

Grace looked cranky and not at all interested in the toys he offered her. He began to worry about how the week would go. He was terrified of not being able to be a sufficient parent to her and even though he knew Blair was number one to Grace he hoped he was an acceptable option at least for a few days.

"Yale sucks, doesn't it?" he sighed and lifted Grace up again. "I hope it's everything Blair dreamed it would be. It had better be to be worth all of this."

He kissed the baby's brow and decided to pack a bag for her and take her over to Lily's. Perhaps a bit of company would help distract her from Blair's absence. He had been looking forward to getting a few days alone with her but now he couldn't help but wonder if he should be counting the seconds until Blair's return. He didn't want to have to see his poor child crying for her mother for several days.

* * *

><p>On Wednesday evening Chuck was exhausted from a long day of taking care of his consistently more active daughter and trying to form a business strategy for himself. He felt strongly that he needed to do something to help build his empire and above all he would need something to occupy himself with during the day. Once Blair got things sorted out in New Haven Grace would be staying there with her most days of the week and Chuck would have nothing to do all day. Business ventures seemed like the perfect solution but making sense of his different ideas and writing up proposals was difficult to say the least when Grace kept demanding his attention. By now she could pull herself up to standing even though she fell down instantly without anything to support her and she was constantly trying to stand up or shuffling around on her bum in search for things to discover.<p>

"You're wearing me out, little lady" he commented and combed through her curls with his hand.

She paid no attention to him. He was stretched out on his side on the bed and she was sitting up next to him in level with his chest, entertaining herself with a large multicolored centipede plushie that jingled when you shook it. It had been a birthday gift from Serena and Grace was insatiably fascinated by it.

"Not that I mind much" he continued. "But I have to wonder how your mother thinks she's going to be able to study at _Yale_ with you around. You're always up to some new mischief, aren't you?"

Grace let out a long string of nonsense while shaking the centipede fervently. Chuck laughed a little at her enthusiasm.

"Yeah make sure you get rid of all that energy because it's almost time for bed. You know what? Tomorrow we can go for a stroll through the park and maybe feed the ducks. Yeah I know, ducks are kind of gross. But your mom likes them. We could totally make her jealous by ending up on _Gossip Girl_ at her favorite spot. That'll make her regret jetting off to New Haven." He made a face. "Okay, I'm going to stop talking like that. To be honest Gracie I hope you'll take after her and be that driven to get a good education. She deserves to get the education she wants and so do you one day. Just please do me a favor and set your sights on a school on the east coast. You're going to break Daddy's heart if you decide you want to go to Oxford or some school in India or something."

Grace looked up at him and smiled.

"Baba!"

"You know, baba is what the sheep says" Chuck told her. "There's another word you could be saying instead. It's very close. _Da… da_. Dada. Can you say '_dada_'?"

"Baba."

"Can you even say the letter D? Dada. _Dada_."

Grace gave him a look like he was deranged and returned her focus to the centipede. She shook it again and shrieked with excitement when it jingled. Then she looked at Chuck with a grin.

"Ada!" she said.

Chuck sat up.

"Grace that's it! That's almost it, you _almost_ said it. I knew you could say the letter D; Mom is full of crap to insist otherwise. Can you say it again?"

"Moo" Grace said.

"Forget about animals for a second. Look at me Grace. Can you say '_Dada_'? Dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada, dada."

He kept repeating the word in the hope she would try to copy him, a process they had gone through more than once with zero results thus far.

"Moo" Grace said again. "Dadadadadadada."

"I can't believe it! You actually said: '_Dada_'."

He scooped her up in a hug which she didn't like since it caused her to drop the centipede. She screamed angrily and he loosened his grip on her to grab the toy. When he gave it back to her she quieted and he got up from the bed with her in his arms and gave her another hug.

"Thank God, you finally said it" he laughed. "Yeah, who's your favorite parent, huh? My fabulous little girl. Tomorrow morning the first thing we're going to do is call your mother and tell her what you've just said."

He grinned at her and playfully gave her a gentle shake which made the centipede in her hands jingle. Grace laughed and seemed to decide she liked the fuss that came with saying the new combinations of sound.

"Dadada" she said.

"We need to work on the number of 'da's you say" Chuck commented. "But let's face it, I'm not picky. So long as you're talking to me I'm a happy camper. Come on big girl, let's get you ready for bed. Just don't think you can bring that toy to bed. I won't be able to sleep with that thing jingling in my ear."

"Dada" Grace said.

"Okay, so maybe I'm open to negotiations."

She shook the centipede again and laughed happily. He carried her to the bathroom to change her into her pajamas, grinning from ear to ear while she kept saying 'dadada' over and over again.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe I survived that whole week" Blair said without taking her eyes off her little daughter.<p>

"Four and a half days."

"Semantics."

Chuck smiled slightly. Blair was sitting on the thick rug on the floor of the hotel room with a firm grip on Grace, who was practicing standing up next to her. Blair had arrived thirty minutes ago and spent every single one of those minutes with the baby. It was clear from Grace's reaction that she was very happy to have her mother back, that Blair had been missed, which Chuck recognized with mixed feelings. On one hand he didn't want Blair to feel guilty over getting herself an education. On the other hand it was difficult to accept his baby dealing with abandonment issues at the age of only one.

"So how was orientation week?" he asked. "Is Yale everything you wanted it to be?"

"Pretty much, yeah."

"Good."

"But I won't lie. I missed my little angel like crazy."

"Aw, I missed you too."

She gave him a look but made no comment. He cringed inwardly, realizing it was far too soon for a comment like that after what had transpired between them. At the same time he didn't mind watching her squirm for having left the baby for several days when Grace really needed her mother.

"I got a bulldog sweater for Grace" Blair said.

"They come in baby sizes?"

"Well, no. She'll have to wait seven years or so before she can wear it."

He sat down next to her on the rug and tousled Grace's hair. Grace turned her head to look at him and smiled.

"Dada" she said, causing him to smile warmly.

"Has she been a good girl?" Blair asked, and he could hear her getting emotional.

"She's been perfect."

Blair nodded and smiled but he could tell the tears were on their way.

"You already know about the biggest event of the week, which she just demonstrated" Chuck said.

"I can't imagine how happy you were to finally hear her call you that" Blair nodded. She kissed the baby on the cheek. "Did you have fun with Daddy, huh?"

"I took her to Lily's on Wednesday" Chuck said. "Rufus made her a waffle. I swear the man is trying to turn her Brooklyn."

Blair laughed a little and gave the baby a kiss.

"Did you like your waffle?" she asked.

Grace nodded. Chuck laughed.

"She had jam and whipped cream all over her face" he said. "Not just her face… Her whole outfit. I had to send Dorota to the dry cleaners."

"See, this is why waffles and babies don't mix" Blair said.

"Eric took pictures."

"Aw!"

"I can show them to you later. I plan on using them for blackmailing purposes when she gets older and starts to riot."

"Enough with the blackmail photos already."

"Wawwew" Grace said.

"She's been saying '_waffle_', or at any rate been trying to, ever since she had one" Chuck said. "And speaking of food, have you eaten? We could go out and have dinner."

"I don't want to go out" Blair said. "I want to stay here with my little sweetheart."

"Order in?"

"Sounds better."

"Any particular preferences?"

"What was that deli you took me to when we were secretly sleeping together?"

"You're going to have to be more specific than that."

"The place with that mushroom sauce and the-"

"No" Chuck grinned. "When we were secretly sleeping together before we knew you were pregnant, or when we were secretly sleeping together when you were in the horny phase of your pregnancy?"

"I don't recall ever being in such a phase" Blair said haughtily. "I merely allowed you to get into bed with me-"

"Out of the kindness of your heart? Such a generous, giving person…" Chuck smirked.

"This is not something I want to talk about" Blair sulked, wondering what the hell he was doing bringing up their past sexcapades after the fiasco at Grace's birthday.

"I don't get why you're ashamed of that" he continued. "Those few weeks were pretty awesome if you ask me."

"Of course they were. For you. How often have you been lucky enough to get to sleep with a real lady rather than one of your cheap trollops?"

"A lady on the streets is a freak between the sheets" Chuck smirked. "Certainly true of you, my dear. You didn't do very many ladylike things during either one of those periods."

"And you sir, are no gentleman" Blair replied. "Can we please not talk about sex when our daughter is in the room? Or ever anymore? Between the two of us sex no longer exists, is that clear?"

"Fine, but you still need to specify which… love making period you're referring to."

"We have never _made love_. And I'm talking about the deli you took me to when we were first secretly seeing each other."

"Got it" Chuck grinned. "I will order us some food. I still remember what your favorites were at that place."

"Really?" Blair asked with a happily surprised smile. "It's been almost two years."

"Memorizing things you liked outside the bedroom paid off inside the bedroom" Chuck smirked.

"Are you done wallowing in how you like using me as a mattress?" Blair asked sharply. "You know what, I think I'm going to take Grace home instead and eat there."

"No don't do that" Chuck said. "I'm sorry."

"You should be. You've got a lot of nerve. Making fun of me over our former sexlife when we both know what happened on Grace's birthday."

"I'm sorry" Chuck said again. "I guess I just… I'd rather joke about it than have things be awkward."

"Next time think of that before you get naked."

"Sound advice. I shall keep that in mind."

He walked off to order food and Blair glared at his back. What had transpired between them on Grace's birthday was a very sore spot for her and it didn't make it better that Chuck acted as if he didn't care and everything was the same as it had always been. Perhaps he was trying to get back to the kind of banter they had had before _feelings_ started to get in the way of everything but Blair knew that they never _could_ go back to where they had been. They had to deal with things the way they were.

"Mama" Grace said and reached out her arms.

"I'm right here Gracie" Blair said and hugged her. "I'm not letting you out of my sight until I go back to school. Next week I'm going to pick out the perfect apartment for you and I to live in. I can't wait for you to move out there with me."

"Bababababababa."

Blair made a face, hoping the baby was just making noises and not trying to say '_dada_'. She hated to admit it but she was a bit jealous of Chuck who had gotten to spend so many days in a row alone with Grace. Not that Blair herself hadn't spent much longer periods of time with Grace without Chuck seeing her but there was a small part of her that worried about Grace becoming more fond of her father than her mother. She had asked herself a hundred times this week if she was a bad mother for leaving her one year-old this way and the ultimate proof of her failure as a mom would be her baby preferring her father at an age where most babies loved Mom above anyone else.

"When I've had dinner we're going to go home" she said to Grace. "Tonight you'll get to sleep in your own crib in your own nursery. And when you wake up, I will be there."

"Dinner will be here in thirty minutes or less" Chuck announced, walking back into the room. "In the meantime why don't we-"

"In the meantime why don't you go pack Gracie's things?" Blair cut him off.

He looked surprised, which annoyed her a bit. Did he think she was going to stay in his hotel room with the baby, or perhaps even leave Grace there for another night?

"Mamana" Grace said and tugged a strain of Blair's hair.

"Ow" Blair winced. "Chuck did you hear me?"

"Sure" he mumbled and walked to the bedroom to do as ordered.

"Grace let go" Blair said. "You're a little too old to be pulling my hair like that, aren't you? There, that's better."

She stood up and scooped the baby up in her arms, walking over to take a seat on the couch. She sank back against the comfortable cushions and hugged Grace close. Grace squirmed a little but seemed to be getting sleepy. After fidgeting for a minute she stood up on Blair's legs and looked around the room. Blair hoped she wasn't trying to find Chuck. Then Grace sat back down and curled up and Blair hugged her closer and gently rocked her. When Chuck came back out with Grace's things she was fast asleep in her mother's arms.

"Lots of excitement for her this afternoon, huh?" Chuck said softly.

"Yeah I guess…" Blair said, gently stroking the baby's hair. "God I've missed her like absolute crazy."

"Dinner's going to be here any minute. You want to go put her in the crib?"

"No" Blair said and smiled. "I think I'll just hold on to her for a little while longer."

* * *

><p>The following Wednesday evening Blair stepped off the elevator at her mother's penthouse and angrily stomped towards the stairs. Dorota came out from the kitchen, looking surprised to see her.<p>

"Miss Blair? Why are you not at school?"

"What is wrong with New Haven?" Blair griped. "Do you know how difficult it is to find decent living near campus?"

"Maybe you have high standards" Dorota shrugged.

"_I_ have no such thing but there is a child to consider here! I cannot live with Grace in any old dump. She is a Waldorf and she needs quality housing. God knows what can happen to her in those middle-class apartments I've looked at this week."

"You think you find apartment better from here?" Dorota asked, confused as to why her protégée had come back to the city in the middle of the week.

"Chuck won't let me take the baby to New Haven until I have a proper place to stay and as much as I hate it I have to admit that he's got a point. So instead I have to shuttle back and forth just to spend a few hours with her before she goes to bed and then fly back out in Chuck's chopper in time for my nine a.m. lecture tomorrow morning. How am I supposed to get a quality education like this? Tell me!"

"Columbia is quality education" Dorota shrugged.

"God, you Europeans have no sense of higher education."

"Or you could have convinced Mister Chuck to move to New Haven too but then you sleep together and things get awkward again."

Blair stopped halfway up the stairs and gave her maid a death glare.

"What was that?"

"You hear me. You and Mister Chuck not even want to be in same room right now, of course he not moving."

"One more word out of you and _you_ will be moving. Back to Poland."

Angrily she stomped up the stairs and headed for her room, now in an even fouler mood. As if she hadn't wanted much more than just sex with Chuck. As if she hadn't tried to convince him that they should give it a chance. Well no more of that. She was done being the only one who pursued, the one who always had to do all the convincing. Chuck might still want her but he sure as hell didn't make her feel like it. If anything she felt rejected and undesired and she would be damned if she kept chasing after someone who clearly didn't want her enough.

She grabbed an old duffle bag from her closet and filled it with a change of clothes and a few toiletries. She had left New Haven in such a hurry that she had completely forgotten that she was going to Chuck's hotel room and not home and therefore she hadn't brought anything with her from Yale. She wasn't looking forward to spending the night in the same hotel room as Chuck even though he had moved from a one-bedroom to a two-bedroom to make room for them both. And if he thought he could have the room where they put Grace's crib he was sorely mistaken. She wanted to spend time with her daughter, not with him, and he would get to be with her all day tomorrow while Blair sat through unending lectures.

She threw the bag over her shoulder, adjusted her headband and strode back downstairs. Dorota was there waiting, pretending to dust a few ornaments. Blair pointedly ignored her and walked right past her.

"Miss Blair" Dorota said. "What will you do if you not find apartment in New Haven?"

Blair snorted. She refused to think about that. Of course she would find a suitable apartment. She might just have to wait a few weeks before she did.

"I will find one" she said confidently. "Grace and I _will_ live there together for the next four years."

"But what if you don't?" Dorota insisted. "There is ivy league school in New York too."

"Why are you so determined that I go to Columbia and not Yale?" Blair asked. "Isn't it bad enough that I have to put up with my mother whining and with Chuck's passive aggressive protests?"

"We don't want baby to grow up far away where we not see her" Dorota said.

"Oh, so it's not _me_ you will miss" Blair snarled.

"You already grown" Dorota shrugged. "Yale big opportunity for you. But Miss Grace just as happy in New York."

"And she will be even happier in New Haven" Blair said, stepping on the elevator, fighting back tears of frustration.

* * *

><p>"How is little Grace today?" Dr. Harrison asked and smiled at the baby sitting on a gurney at his clinic.<p>

"Not so little anymore" Blair said with a proud smile.

"One year and three weeks old" Dr. Harrison nodded with an eye on the chart. "Her weight, height and overall growth is within the range. She looks healthy and happy."

"She is."

"Is she talking yet?"

"She says a few short words."

"First word?"

"That depends on who you ask" Blair said. "If you ask me her first word was '_Mama_ when she was around seven months old. If you ask anyone else it was '_Food_' about two months ago. Well, she couldn't say the letter D, but we knew what she was trying to say."

Dr. Harrison laughed.

"Her appetite is the same, I see."

"I'm worried that she might become fat" Blair frowned. "Right now I know she has baby fat and she's supposed to have it, but I've read that children who are overweight are more likely to have problems losing weight as adults."

"As I said she is within the range" Dr. Harrison said. "Don't worry about her appetite. She needs as much nutrition as possible to help her grow."

"If you say so doctor" Blair said, looking skeptical.

"And the baby fat will start to disappear once she begins to walk. She's crawling by now I take it? Has she taken her first steps yet?"

"Actually she's not crawling" Blair said with a troubled frown on her face. "She kind of… skips on her bum."

The doctor laughed.

"Some children do that. It's nothing to be so concerned about."

"It doesn't _seem_ normal."

"It's nothing to worry about, trust me. But she hasn't taken her first steps yet?"

"No not yet."

"She will soon enough. Now, let's get down to the main reason why you two ladies are here today."

Blair smiled nervously. Grace was due to get more shots, a pretty hefty dose this time around. She had gotten a hepatitis B shot at birth and an additional dose a month later and while Blair had no memory of when the first had been given she very vividly remembered Grace screaming at the top of her lungs when she got the second dose. Now she was older and would not only be sure to cry, she might remember that it was Mommy who had brought her to have those shots. Blair didn't know if children remembered things like that but she hoped not. Their situation at present was hard enough without adding Grace being upset with her over something like that.

"It's quite a big one this time" Dr. Harrison said, being the opposite of helpful. "I won't give her polio or influenza today, however. She'll get those with her DTaP in six months' time."

"God it's like there's no end to the vaccines she needs" Blair sighed.

"It's a cheap insurance" Dr. Harrison said.

"I just don't like her being poked by needles too much."

"She will be fine, it only stings for a minute."

"One very long minute" Blair commented.

"I'm going to prepare my kit" Dr. Harrison said. "Why don't you try and distract her for a bit? I believe it's better if they don't see me approaching them with the needle."

"I can't believe I'm scheming against my own child" Blair muttered.

She smiled at Grace and tried to think of ways to distract her. Usually she was good at entertaining the baby but most of their games involved movement and she guessed it was better if Grace kept fairly still right now. Dr. Harrison used a wipe with rectified alcohol to clean off Grace's arm and the little girl stared at him with disapproval while wrinkling her nose at the unpleasant smell.

"Grace honey" Blair said. "Look at Mommy."

Grace looked over at her and smiled at the face Blair was making.

"Hi sweetie. Keep your eyes on me."

She quickly glanced around the room to find some inspiration for how to distract the baby and her eyes fell on a picture of the ugly duckling. She used her hand to imitate a duck's bill and made quacking noises. Grace grinned and seemed entertained but then something clattered over where the doctor was preparing for her vaccination and her eyes went there instead. Blair walked over to the stroller and picked up the plushie they had brought. It was a little dog and she held it up and started barking. Grace's attention went back to her and by playing with the dog Blair was able to keep the child's focus as the doctor walked up with the needle.

Once Dr. Harrison grabbed a hold of Grace's arm however Blair lost her attention. Having no memories of previous shots Grace wasn't wary of the needle but she did look confused over what it was for. When the doctor gave her the injection her jaw dropped a little and then she began to scream with anger, indignation and pain.

"There we go, there's a good girl" Dr. Harrison said.

"Can I pick her up?" Blair asked.

"Of course."

She scooped the crying baby up in her arms and tried her best to soothe her. Grace was furious over this new treatment and Blair frowned with concern.

"Is it normal for them to cry this much?"

"Adults don't like getting injections" Dr. Harrison pointed out. "Babies like it even less and they don't understand what it's for."

Grace most certainly didn't like it. She cried furiously and Blair's attempts at soothing her were all ineffective.

"What if there's something wrong?" Blair worried. "She might be having an allergic reaction or maybe you hit a nerve or something?"

"Miss Waldorf I assure you, there is nothing wrong with your baby" Dr. Harrison said. "She will calm down in a minute."

"It's okay honey…" Blair said to Grace and kissed the top of her head. "I know it hurt but you're all better now aren't you?"

Grace quieted down after a few minutes but she glared sullenly at the doctor, clearly not ready to forgive him quite yet. Blair was just relieved she stopped crying and adjusted the tiny headband she was wearing.

"You know the drill since last time she had a shot" Dr. Harrison said. "She might get a fever, some aching muscles… So long as the fever isn't high it's nothing to worry about."

"So we're done for today?" she said.

"See you in six months."

"Unfortunately" Blair said, giving him an annoyed look. "Come along Gracie."

She decided to keep holding Grace and not put her in the stroller yet, which resulted in some logistical problems when she tried to get through the door with everything she had brought into the office. Dr. Harrison held the door open for her and chuckled at the glare Grace gave him on their way out.

"Bye doctor" Blair said. "No offense but the less we see of you from now on the better."

The doctor laughed again and bid them a good day. Blair put Grace down in her stroller and left the building, shivering slightly when she got outside. It was September but there was a cold wind blowing.

"The doctor's office isn't much fun, huh?" Blair said. "I hope by the time you have babies of your own they will have come up with something that gives you all the vaccinations you need in one shot when you're born. Or better yet they could invent that before you have any siblings. If you ever _do_ have siblings." She sighed. "You know, call me crazy but for a few hours there I thought that maybe you would get siblings as soon as I've graduated from college. Guess not, huh? At least not siblings who share your father. Your father is a real stupid head. But I'm not going to obsess about that anymore."

She cocked her neck and held her chin high, strolling down the streets with her cranky baby. She didn't actually have any desires to have more children, at least not in any foreseeable future, but it bothered her that she would have to give up on her hopes of having more children with Chuck.

"If your father ever gives you siblings it will probably be with some blonde bimbo who's only slightly more mentally developed than you are right now" she griped bitterly. "Then he'll probably cheat on her with the nanny and you'll get another sibling out of it. And me, I'll probably never end up giving you a sibling because I'll be spending the next ten years getting my college degree. God, I cannot believe it should be this hard to get an apartment"

She had been out looking at apartments almost every afternoon after her classes and still she hadn't found anything she liked. She was getting very impatient and the search for a place to live was taking a lot of energy she could have spent on school instead. Not to mention the roommate she was saddled with at the dorms was a huge grunge fan which horrified Blair. She had been quite relieved when Chuck had asked her if she could skip her afternoon classes and fly in to take Grace to the doctor.

"Are you still fussy over that shot?" she asked Grace. "Poor little girl. Tell you what, you and I are going to do something fun this afternoon. We are going to go back to the penthouse and see Grandma' and Cyrus before they jet back to Paris and then we're going to go and buy you a new toy. Then this evening I'm going to give you a nice bath and we'll cuddle up together on the couch and I'll read you a story and sing you a song just the way you like it. Maybe we can even buy a new book? Would you like that?"

She kept prattling as she walked down the street, hoping that her voice would help soothe the cranky baby. She was starting to feel a touch of panic at how much time she had spent away from Grace since college had started and she felt even more panicked at the thought of not finding a place to stay real soon. She felt strongly that Grace needed her more than she needed Chuck and it made her nervous to think of what effects this arrangement could have on their baby in the long run.

"You know what Grace?" she said. "Change of plans. Tomorrow is Friday and I have decided to skip my classes and take a long weekend. We'll make a quick stop at Chuck's hotel room and get your things and then we'll go home and spend every moment from now until Sunday night together."

Chuck would probably be surprised at this turn of events but she could care less. The agreed arrangement was that she would have Grace more days a week than him anyway and she had been missing far too much time with her baby lately.

* * *

><p>"I don't follow" Chuck said a few hours later, lifting Grace up from the stroller with a frown on his face. "Your classes tomorrow got cancelled? All of them?"<p>

"They didn't get cancelled. I'm skipping them."

"You're skipping them?" he echoed with disbelief.

"Yes" Blair said. "Skipping them. Don't look so surprised Chuck; you've skipped far more classes than the number you have attended."

"That may be but I'm not the one turning Grace's life upside down in order to go to a particular college" he said with a disapproving tone. "You've made such a big deal out of Yale and now you're skipping classes?"

"It's just a few weeks in to the semester" Blair protested. "One day of playing hookie isn't the end of the world."

"Sure it isn't" Chuck snorted.

"Chuck do not start with me" Blair said with a frown. "You were the one who called me and asked me to fly in and take the baby to the doctor."

"Because I've never taken her to one of her check-ups and you are much better at answering their questions and knowing what to tell them."

"Is that the reason? Or can you just not be bothered with the less fun aspects of parenting?" Blair griped, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I change her diapers. How much worse can it be to bring her to the doctor?"

"A dirty diaper is a lot easier to handle than Grace crying after she gets an injection!" Blair shot back. "Not that you would know since you avoid most responsibilities like the plague. That's the way it's been since she was conceived."

"I take my share of the responsibility. You're the one who doesn't want to let me share the load with you fifty-fifty. You still insist that she spends more time with you than with me."

"I'm her mother" Blair pointed out. "I carried her for nine months, I-"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've heard that all before. She is still _ours_, not yours, and as usual it seems I'm the one who thinks of what is better for her."

"What the hell is _that_ supposed to mean?"

"It means it's better for Grace if you take her to her check-ups since you know the drill and you know what you talked about at her last check-up."

"What a load of crap!"

Their voices had gotten louder and louder while they argued and Blair's last words came out in a yell. Grace began to cry and Chuck held her closer, shushing her gently while giving Blair a glare.

"There, there…" he shushed the baby. "Nice going Blair."

"I'm not the only one at fault here!"

"At least stop shrieking; you're scaring her. It's okay Grace…"

"Give her to me" Blair said, walking closer. She could never stand to see her baby cry and wanted to soothe her whenever she did.

"No" Chuck said, backing away from her. "I've got her."

"You should be packing her things. We're _leaving_ in a few minutes."

"If you're going to take my daughter away for the next three days I think I have the right to hold her for a minute."

"Chuck this isn't helping!" Blair said, running her hands through her hair with frustration. "She's never going to calm down like this."

"She doesn't need a mother's touch to calm down" Chuck snorted.

"No but it would certainly help if we weren't arguing with each other."

"I'm not arguing!" Chuck barked.

Blair bit her bottom lip to prevent herself from snapping something back at him and took a step back, glaring at him sullenly. He began to walk around a little, shushing the crying baby. Neither of them said anything for a few minutes even though they had a lot more on their minds but they kept glaring at one another. After a while Grace stopped crying but she was very fussy and wrapped her arms around her father's neck, burying her face at the nape.

"Her stuff is in my bedroom" Chuck said in a calm voice intended to keep the baby from crying again. "You can go and get it. I'll say goodbye to her in the meantime."

Blair nodded, not entirely pleased with the arrangement, and walked to Chuck's room. She hoped he had the baby's things in order and not scattered everywhere. When she had left the room Chuck turned to Grace.

"It's okay" he said. "Grown-ups fight every once in a while. Especially messed-up semi-grown-ups like me and your mom. I'm sorry we scared you."

"Be careful with her arm" Blair said, coming out from the bedroom to get the plushie she had seen sitting on the couch. "She's probably sore from the vaccination."

"Is that also what makes you fussy today?" Chuck asked Grace.

"You are very perceptive" Blair said with a feigned smile and returned to the bedroom, plushie in hand.

"Let's hope you grow up to have a sunnier disposition than your mother" Chuck said to the baby.

"I heard that!" Blair snarled from the bedroom.

"Of course she did" Chuck muttered under his breath. "There, there Grace, it's all okay now. Come here, let me take a look at that arm of yours."

He sat down on the couch and got her to release her grip on him. He took her arm in his and she pulled back a little but then let him hold it. Carefully he studied the band-aid on her upper arm and then took a gentle grip of her, one hand on each arm.

"Blair!" he called out.

"What?" Blair asked in an annoyed tone, coming back out from the bedroom.

"She's swollen. Her arm."

"Of course she is, genius, that can happen with the vaccination and it's not a big deal" Blair said. "I guess you've proven yourself right. There's no point sending you to the doctor with her since you don't know anything."

"Forgive me for being concerned" Chuck muttered.

"Try not to have any further crises until I'm done" Blair sighed. "Where did you put her damn diaper bag?"

"Where do you think? In the bathroom."

Blair muttered something he couldn't make out and went to get the bag. Chuck studied Grace with a frown and rested his forehead against hers to see if she had any fever. She seemed fine but she didn't like her arm to be moved around. Gently he removed the band-aid and placed a kiss where it had been.

"All better" he said even though he knew she was too little to understand the concept. "You're going to be just fine in a day or so. I know it sucks right now. Trust me, I got that hepatitis vaccine and they were all out of the kind they stick in your… fatty tissue? I don't know, point is, they gave me the second injection in the muscle on my arm, just like where they gave you your shot today, and my arm was sore for like three days. But it's all going to be worth it when you don't come down with whatever horrible diseases they vaccinated you for today. One of them probably was hepatitis, come to think of it."

He kept talking to her while he waited for Blair to gather her things. He hadn't been prepared for her to take Grace away today and he didn't like it. He felt rather powerless, like Blair had all the say-so. If she wanted to come and pick up Grace and take her to her penthouse she could, without any warning. Chuck couldn't wait until Grace was older and didn't depend on her mother as much anymore.

He looked up when Blair exited the bedroom carrying Grace's bag. He quickly got up and scooped the baby up with him, holding her close.

"Give her to me Bass" Blair said. "We're leaving."

"I'll put her in the stroller."

"I said I'll take her."

"Just let me put her in the damn stroller" Chuck snarled. "You're taking her a day early, at least let me kiss her goodbye and send her off."

"Well be quick about it. I don't have all day."

Chuck glared at her and then turned his back on her, doing his best to ignore her presence. He would rather say goodbye to Grace in private but he should have thought of that while Blair was still in the other room.

"I'm sorry you have to leave already" he told her. "I will miss you over the weekend. Have fun with Mommy. I will see you again on Sunday night, okay? By then your arm will be all better and you and I can play together and do lots of fun stuff, okay? You be good now."

He walked over to the stroller and gave Grace a kiss before very reluctantly setting her down. He ruffled her hair and stroke her cheek with his finger, hating the fact that her cheeks were still wet from her tears.

"I love you" he said. "See you in a few days. Miss me."

"Touching" Blair said with a feigned smirk and walked around the stroller to get on the right side.

"Bye" Chuck said and kissed Grace's forehead.

"Have a good weekend" Blair offered out of habit.

"Not as good as yours, I'm sure" Chuck replied.

He opened the door for her and held it open while she walked out pushing the stroller and with the bag flung over her shoulder. He stayed in the doorway until they had disappeared around the corner and then he closed the door with a sigh.

* * *

><p>The following week Chuck felt like he had reached a boiling point. When Blair had dropped Grace off on Sunday they had gotten into another argument, again causing the baby to cry. The tension between them was palpable and they didn't seem to know how to act around one another right now. She was still hurt over what had transpired at Grace's birthday party and he was upset with her for not understanding where he was coming from. Aside from that Blair was growing more concerned every day that went by without her finding an apartment and Chuck was dreading the day she did. At present Blair was the one on the losing side since she couldn't bring Grace with her to her dorm but before long Chuck would be the one who only got to spend a few days a week with their daughter.<p>

Chuck wasn't sure what to do to get out of this mess they were in. He had gone over the events of Grace's birthday a hundred times in his head and each time convinced himself that he had made the right choice. Grace wouldn't benefit from her parents trying to play house together at this point. He fervently denied to himself that his decision had anything to do with his own fears of letting somebody close and his worry that Blair might not want him for real. Yet he knew something had to happen, something had to change. They couldn't continue on like this for much longer. This, if anything, was harmful to the baby. She shouldn't have to be caught in the middle of her parents arguing because they didn't know how to work out or express their feelings for one another.

He sighed and looked over at the baby playing on the floor, babbling merrily to herself. Who was he kidding? Why was he doing this to himself, to Blair and to Grace? Blair had been right. Grace would only benefit from the two of them being together. He could overcome his fears couldn't he? Blair's feelings for him did seem genuine these days and he should at least be brave enough to take a chance for Grace if her parents being together was the best thing for her. He may not be brave enough for his own sake but he could be brave enough for his daughter.

He got up and walked across the room to get his jacket and his phone.

"You know what Grace, we're going out."

"Go" Grace said.

"That's right. We're leaving Manhattan and you're going on a chopper for the first time in your life."

"Wawwew?"

"No not waffle, chopper."

He grabbed the pacifier from the coffee table and lifted Grace up into his arms while dialing his phone.

"Time for big gestures" he said to the baby while he waited for his call to be connected. "I need some help now Grace and you're going to be the one to help me out. We need to go to New Haven and tell Mommy that Dad's a big old idiot. We need to tell her that she was right and we really should give this a try. Put those doll eyes of yours to good use so she won't be able to stay mad, okay?"

He hurried towards the closet to get a jacket for Grace while talking on the phone to his pilot, telling him to get the chopper ready. He felt both nervous and excited, eager to see Blair and make things right with her but afraid of opening up to her.

"Your dad's a big old idiot" he said to the baby. "Can you explain to me what I'm so scared of, huh? Yeah it is scary to tell someone how you feel. I don't know why though. We have you, I know she might have very strong feelings for me, I mean what could be so scary about something like that? Since when is happiness scary?"

He sat her down on the couch and kneeled to get her jacket on. She squirmed a little but he soon got the jacket on her. He rose with her in a firm grip and hurried around the suite gathering the things she would need.

"I'm not going to bring all that much stuff for you" he said. "This mission can go in only two ways. Either she'll agree to give me another chance, in which case you and I will be spending the next couple of days in a hotel room in New Haven and we can go out and buy whatever you need that we didn't bring with us. Or she'll tell me I'm too late in which case I'll be hurrying back to New York."

"Wawwew" Grace said.

"Yeah. Thank you for your support, sweetie. Come on, let's go."

* * *

><p>Blair smiled happily, feeling good about herself for the first time since Grace's birthday. She was at an afternoon mixer, dressed in her latest Gucci purchase, feeling fabulous. She was also in the company of a very nice looking fellow named Jacob Townsend who had caught her eye on the very first day. Not that she was looking for a boyfriend, or even a guy to warm her bed, but a nice flirt to make herself feel better was definitely what the doctor ordered. She and Jacob had really hit it off and she was beginning to toy with the idea of letting him be the guy she could attach herself to for a while to show Chuck that she didn't need him and that if he didn't want her there were plenty of guys who did. So when Jacob had asked her to go to dinner with him after the mixer she had happily said yes.<p>

"I'm so happy to have met someone else who sees Yale as a _calling_ and not just a prestigious name to be associated with" Jacob said.

"I know" Blair said, practically purring. "Most of these people don't even get _why_ Yale is so remarkable."

Jacob smiled warmly at her. Then he frowned.

"Some guy is staring at you from across the room" he said. "And not very friendly looking, I might add."

Blair turned around and saw that Chuck, the last person she expected to see here, had just walked into the room. Her jaw almost dropped to the floor. What was he doing there? And where was Grace?

"Excuse me for a second" Blair said to Jacob and hurried across the room to talk to Chuck. When she reached him she grabbed him by the arm, hard enough for him to frown. "Chuck what are you doing here? How did you know where to find me? Where's Grace, is she alright?"

"She's fine" Chuck said, carefully prying Blair's hand off his arm. "It's her nap time, she's sleeping at a hotel room with Dorota looking after her."

"Bass be straight with me" Blair said. "What has happened?"

"I'm not here because anything happened to Grace" Chuck said with a little laugh.

Then why was he there? Blair couldn't think of any reason for him to show up out of the blue in New Haven unless something had happened. She preferred finding out sooner rather than later.

"What is it then?" she asked. "Serena? My parents?"

"I'm not here for anyone else" he said and then his voice softened and was accompanied by a warm smile. "I'm here for me."

It dawned on Blair why he had come. He was after a second chance and thought all it would take would be to show up. Well he could think again. The extreme humiliation she had felt after the birthday party could not be made to go away by just showing up and smiling. After what he did to her how dare he think he could have her?

"If it's nothing acute then excuse me" she said, taking a step back when he reached out his hand for her. "I'm on a date."

"What?" he said with a disbelieving laugh.

"You can tell me all about why you're here later on. I'm sure it's for a stupid reason anyway. Oh, and I hear the Skull and Bones are out for your blood for some reason so if I were you I'd go hide off-campus."

She strode off and he stared after her in disbelief. Not that he hadn't gotten the message. She was still angry and hurt and wasn't prepared to forgive him right off the bat. But he had thought he would be able to lure her away from the mixer for some more private time since Grace was in New Haven with him.

He watched her walk right up to some guy who managed to look pompous and airheaded at the same time and she put her hand on his upper arm and gave him a peck on the lips. She couldn't be serious. He hadn't thought she was telling the truth when she said she was on a date but it appeared that she was. How come it never seemed to take her more than a few weeks to move on to someone else?

Jealousy burning inside him he backed slowly away from where he was standing and then walked out to the foyer. Instinct told him she would be turning around to see the look on his face but all she would get was him leaving. He needed a moment to compose himself before he could allow her to look at him. In addition it would be to his benefit to make her wonder why he had just walked out. The game and cat and mouse was their area of expertise.

He walked into the men's room and splashed his face with cold water. He needed a strategy, and fast.

* * *

><p>Blair's head was spinning and her brain working overtime to try and piece together the facts. Chuck had brought Dorota and the baby to New Haven but not because of anything related to Grace. He was there to see Blair, out of the blue, and the only explanation that made sense was that he regretted his decision to walk out on her. If he thought he was regretting it now he had no idea what was coming. She wasn't going to just let him win her back over. She had her pride to think about as well as her self-respect. Jacob was an adequate fake-boyfriend and she had no qualms about using him to make Chuck feel as miserable as Blair had lately.<p>

It seemed like she had succeeded since Chuck had apparently left right away once he saw her with Jacob. Which was partially a victory, since it had provoked a reaction, but also a defeat since she wanted him to stick around and get a good look of her fawning over somebody else. Even if that somebody else seemed a touch confused by, albeit not objecting to, her sudden displays of affection.

"I'm absolutely parched" she said with her best coquettish smile.

"Let's get you something to drink then" Jacob said and placed a hand on the small of her back, ushering her towards the refreshments. "Blair you really surprise me, I had no idea you were such a fan of Chaucer."

"How could anyone not be?" Blair lied, wondering what he was talking about. When had they said anything about Chaucer?

"I want to be one of the great ones, you know?" Jacob continued. "Imagine being talked about centuries from now and having students reading your work, talking about your _art_. It's one thing to write a big seller, but come on, nobody's going to talk about Dan Brown or JK Rowling the way they talk about Jonathan Swift or Tolkien."

"Absolutely" Blair pretended to agree.

They reached the refreshments and Jacob grabbed a glass to get her some punch. Blair nearly jumped out of her skin when Chuck materialized out of thin air and reached out for a snack, grazing her chest with his arm by what was clearly not accident.

"Chuck!" she exclaimed. "What are you still doing here?"

Jacob frowned and handed Blair her punch.

"Is this guy bothering you Blair?"

"Absolutely not, I can assure you" Chuck said with a charming smile, reaching out his hand for a handshake. "I'm-"

"He's no one" Blair interrupted. "He's leaving."

"Blair you're being rude" Chuck chastised with a teasing grin.

"Are you a student here at Yale?" Jacob asked, putting an arm around Blair.

"No he's not" Blair said.

"I'm not" Chuck confirmed, eyes turning darker with annoyance that this guy put his arm around Blair that way. "Some of us don't need college to succeed in life." He extended his hand again. "I'm Chuck Bass."

"Jacob Townsend, majoring in English lit."

"Mmm, thrilling" Chuck said without attempting to mean it.

"You're a friend of Blair's?"

"By the very loosest definition of the word" Blair said icily.

"I'm the other half of her daughter's parents" Chuck said.

Blair wished she could just clobber him. She hadn't told Jacob about Grace yet because she wanted people to focus on her and her academic agenda and not on her baby. Luckily Jacob didn't seem to be too shocked to gather his wits.

"Of course" he said.

"Speaking of which, shouldn't you be getting back to Grace?" Blair asked Chuck in a tone that may sound sweet but she knew he could detect the poison behind it.

"I was thinking-"

"Great" Blair cut him off. "Well it was… nice… running into you here. Jacob we should go over and speak to the dean before we head out to dinner."

"Excellent idea" Jacob said. "Nice meeting you Chet."

"Chuck" Chuck corrected him sullenly.

"Right."

Jacob walked off with Blair, still with his arm around her waist, and Chuck was left fuming by the refreshments.

"Your _daughter_?" Jacob asked in a hiss as soon as they were out of earshot.

"I know, I should have mentioned her" Blair said. "It's just, my mother's a well-known designer and her father, whom you just met, is one of the richest men in the world. Not to mention her aunt is a veritable paparazzi magnet. I don't like talking about her to people before I know them since I want to keep her sheltered from the public eye as best I can."

"What's between you and her father now?" Jacob asked. "Why is he showing up here? And am I just someone you're using to make him jealous?"

"Chuck lives on Manhattan. If he came all this way for me then I would hardly need to use some guy to make him jealous, now would I? There is absolutely nothing between Chuck and me, except attempts to be civil around each other."

"But you were in love once" Jacob concluded.

"Grace was not a planned baby" Blair said. "She just… happened. Chuck and I weren't dating and we never have been." She stopped walking and faced Jacob with a smile. "I don't want to talk about him. He's probably here on some business deal or other and decided to stop by and let me know he brought the baby. Grace is with him sometimes while I'm at school. It's a temporary arrangement until we can figure out the logistics."

"I don't mind not talking about him either" Jacob said and let his finger caress her cheek. "Come, let's find dean Berube and then go to dinner."

* * *

><p>Blair stepped outside to get some fresh air while Jacob went to find his roommate to talk something over which had to do with a coat hanger which Blair had understood nothing of. She had only been outside for a minute when Chuck walked up behind her.<p>

"Blair…"

"Just save it Chuck" Blair said, turning to look at him. "Whatever it is."

"Look I made a mistake. I made the wrong decision to walk out when I did, and I've regretted it ever since."

"Is that why you're here?"

"You know it is." He moved a step closer, gathering all his courage to be open with her. "Whoever that guy is… This is me Blair. This is us. I know that guy isn't someone special to you or I would have heard about him sooner."

"It may not be special yet but it can be the start of something special. I deserve to have something special."

"You're right, you do" Chuck agreed. "I'm just… I've never really been part of anything special before and I'm scared that if given the chance… I would ruin it."

"Maybe you already have."

"No" Chuck said, shaking his head. "No, because…"

"It doesn't matter either way" Blair said, wishing he would stop speaking vaguely and get to the part of telling her what she wanted to hear from him.

"I was afraid to rock the boat but I was wrong" Chuck said, gently placing his hands on her sides. "I was afraid of… a lot of things… I'm sorry Blair. I don't want to do wrong by Grace and I-"

"No, stop hiding behind her."

"Please don't leave with that guy."

"Why?" Blair asked. "Give me a reason."

"Because you don't want to."

"That's not good enough" Blair said.

"Because I don't want you to."

"That's not enough either."

"Because we have the baby. You were the-"

"No, Grace is not a reason why I should stay" Blair said, pulling back from him. "Grace is the reason why I should go. You said so yourself."

"I was wrong" Chuck insisted, stepping closer and gently grabbing her arms with his hands.

"Maybe _I_ was wrong" Blair said.

"You don't believe that."

"Perhaps I do. I need to think about her and I need to be with someone who is dependable. You're not. You keep pulling me in and then pushing me away. Why should I expect this time to be any different?"

"Because it is" Chuck said pleadingly.

"Prove it."

"How?"

"Give me the real reason why I should go back to your hotel with you rather than out to dinner with Jacob. And don't say Grace is the reason."

"What is it that you want to hear?"

"Three words, eight letters" Blair said, for a moment daring to hope that he might say them when he was looking at her like that. "I need that from you before I can know that you are serious about this. Say those words…"

The look on her face was almost begging. He knew he felt what she wanted him to profess but for some reason the words just wouldn't come out. What guarantee did _he_ have? He had no way of knowing if her feelings for him were real. This could all be power play. And wasn't this going just a little too fast? Proclamations of love before they had even been on a date? Even with a shared child this felt like too big a leap. He wanted to be with her, he was finally prepared and willing to try and be the best boyfriend he could be and to dare to believe that she could love him, but he had thought they would take it one step at a time. Things were intense enough when they had a daughter together without adding those three words.

"I…" he began, petrified of saying the three words but also frightened of losing her if he didn't. "I…"

"That's what I thought" she said in what was barely more than a whisper, and pulled herself loose. "Won't you please leave me alone? I guess it was for the best that you walked out that morning because you would have only broken my heart."

He wanted to say her name, tell her to wait, to give him a chance to explain why he was hesitant to say those words. But she had walked down the steps and was waiting for her date with her back turned to him, clearly signaling that she was done with the conversation. He was too late.

Blair could feel his eyes still on her and she was torn between wishing he would walk up to her again and give her at least some sign that he _was_ serious about her and wishing he would hurry up and leave already before he realized that she was near crying. He chose to do neither and just stayed put, looking at her from a few steps up until Jacob came down the stairs and placed a hand on her back.

"Ready to go?" he asked.

She gathered all her strength and put her best game face on, forcing herself to smile even though all she wanted to do was go to Chuck's hotel room before he could get back, hold her baby close and weep through her disappointment.

"Let's do this" she said as cheerfully as possible to Jacob.

Chuck remained on the steps watching her silently until she and that guy had disappeared from sight. Then he slowly descended the stairs and began to walk back to the hotel. It would take him over half an hour but he could use the time to gather his wits and his thoughts before getting back. He realized now he had chosen the worst baby-sitter possible because Dorota had seemed to have guessed the reason why they were in New Haven and would no doubt be eagerly awaiting a progress report.

He walked for what felt like an eternity but didn't get anywhere with his thoughts. He hadn't been able to say those words to Blair and he wouldn't be able to do it now either if she showed up and gave him another opportunity to do so. He couldn't go from not even dating her to confessing to love her. It was too much. He wanted to give her his heart but it had to happen in smaller steps or he wouldn't be brave enough. He wasn't even sure he had ever said those words to anyone other than Grace, not even to his father as a child. He most definitely had never said it as a teenager, other than to his daughter and that was not the same. With Grace it was more of a natural thing, a parent's love for a child. With Blair it was a teenage boy feeling something for a teenage girl which she might not reciprocate. Even if she did it might turn out badly in the end. There were risks involved. Giving that much of himself to Blair without being in a relationship first was dangerous.

He reached the hotel and reluctantly went back to his room. As expected Dorota came hurrying up the second he walked through the door, holding Grace in her arms.

"Oh, Mister Chuck, you're back! Did you see Miss Blair? What did she say?"

"I don't know how Blair trains her hired help but the people who work for me do not stick their noses in things that aren't their business" Chuck sneered. "Come here Grace, did you have a good nap?"

He took the child from Dorota and took her to the other room, closing the door behind him. He sat down on the couch and hugged the baby tight, the one part of Blair that would always be his, the one thing she couldn't deny him. Grace wasn't in the mood for being held and hugged however. She squirmed and wanted to get down on the floor.

"Just as stubborn as your mother" Chuck sighed, allowing her to get down.

Grace made her way over to the thick rug on the floor and began to look around for toys but there were none in the room. She began to cry out of disappointment and Chuck got up with a sigh and walked over, sitting down on the rug, facing her.

"Yeah I know the feeling…" he said. "Here, I'll play with you. Look at Daddy."

He made a funny face and Grace stopped crying, looking at him with surprise for a moment before she began to laugh and clap her hands.

"Good thing you're easily entertained" he commented and made another funny face.

Grace laughed again but it didn't make Chuck feel much better. He was already regretting having come to New Haven to speak with Blair. He should have known it would be futile, that she had had enough of his insecurities. If only he had stayed in New York and waited until she returned, then he would have taken precautions and gotten a feeling for where she was emotionally before he let her know he was vulnerable to her.

"Mo!" Grace declared, grabbing his hands and pulling on them.

"You want more?"

"Mo!"

"I think I'm all out of funny faces for today. You need to learn some new words though. Can you say after me Grace?" He leaned in closer so that their noses brushed against each other. "Nose."

Grace just looked at him with a frown. He leaned back a little and pointed to his nose, saying the word. Then he poked her nose and said it again. Grace laughed but didn't try to repeat the word.

"Grace, can you say after Daddy?" he asked. "Nose."

"Muh" Grace said.

"Mug? You're thirsty?"

Grace seemed bored with the game and started looking around for toys. Chuck got up and walked out to the next room to get some for her but when he left the room she began to cry. He came back and lifted her up just as Dorota came hurrying.

"What is wrong?" she asked.

"Nothing" he said. "I stepped out to get her toys and she thought I was leaving. Does it bother you that she has abandonment issues at this age? Because it bothers me. Babies shouldn't have to worry about something like that."

"Mister Chuck " Dorota said. "Babies always cry when parent leave room. Is ordinary. I will get toys."

"Thank you Dorota."

He turned his face to Grace who reached out to grab his nose. He pulled his face back a bit, wrinkling his nose.

"Okay, you've learned to find Daddy's nose."

"Muh" Grace said.

Dorota returned with some toys. Chuck thanked her then dismissed her. She looked unsure of whether she should leave but a stern glare from him made her decide to do as he asked. He got up and closed the door behind her, sighing heavily. Grace entertained herself with one of the toys and paid no attention to him. He walked over to the bed and sunk down on the floor, leaning back against the piece of furniture.

He cursed under his breath. What had he expected today? What had gotten into him? How could he have thought Blair would accept his apology and give him a second chance? After their summer in the Hamptons he had dared to believe that she really did have feelings for him but maybe he hadn't completely trusted that. When they had slept together he knew it was the definitive test of her feelings. Either they would become a couple or it would turn out she was only using him for sex like she had when she was pregnant. He had been too afraid of finding out which option was the truth and worried that he would disappoint her even if she did have feelings for him so he had backed away. And he had backed away for Grace. He needed to deserve her love first and foremost and couldn't put anyone else above her.

So what had he possibly thought he could gain by seeking Blair out like this? Now all the power was back in her hands and he was more insecure than ever.

"Stupid…" he mumbled, closing his eyes. "So damn stupid…"

To his surprise he felt himself start to cry. He hadn't cried since shortly after his father's death even though he had often had reason to. Right now he couldn't hold it back any longer. His disappointment and his fears got the better of him. He took a trembling breath and let the tears roll down his cheeks.

A tiny hand touched his cheek and he opened his eyes, startled by the touch. Grace was standing wobbly beside him, falling forward a bit and bracing herself against his shoulder with one hand. The other remained on his cheek. Her eyes were surprised, confused and a touch concerned. He knew she was probably too little to feel empathy but he also knew children could sense the adults' state of mind and perhaps there was some biological mechanism that made a child her age worry when their parent was sad, if for no other reason than that it meant the parent might not take perfect care of them.

He pulled her in close and hugged her tight. This time she let him hold her without protest. At the back of his mind he knew it was wrong to lean on the baby when he was sad; she shouldn't have to be her father's emotional support. But as long as she was content to be in his arms he knew he would hold her. He needed it and he didn't think she would suffer any long-term damage from having been her father's shoulder to cry on just once.

After a while he eased his embrace and pulled her back a little so they could look at each other. She looked mostly confused, like she couldn't understand what was going on. She had never seen her father cry before. He managed to smile at her for a brief moment.

"I love you" he said.

Her hand reached out again and touched his cheek, exploring the wetness of skin she had always known to be dry. He turned her around and sat her down more comfortably on his lap, holding her close and rocking her slowly. He wasn't sure why she put up with this when she had been so under-stimulated just minutes ago but he was grateful that he had her.

"I love you" he said again. "I can't say those words to your mother but I can say them to you and you will always hear them. You deserve love. You're worthy of love. You're not like me. You're not going to live a day in your life without knowing that you're loved."

They sat like that until Chuck's tears had stopped falling and his cheeks were dry. Then he put Grace back down on the floor and got up.

"We're out of here" he said. "I won't stick around to wait and see if she'll show. There's no way in hell she's ever going to, not for my sake. She'll come to see you once her date is over but she'll find out we're not here anymore." He snorted. "Her date. Why the hell did I have to fall in love with a girl who can't love me back? She can't, can she Grace? Not when she goes out on dates with other guys just weeks after we…"

He trailed off and shook his head to clear it. Then he walked over to the door and opened it, calling for Dorota.

"Yes Mister Chuck?" she said, coming hurrying in from another room.

"Make sure all Grace's things are packed. I'm calling for the chopper, we're going back to the city."

Dorota frowned.

"Miss Blair not been here to see baby."

"She's busy cavorting with her latest fling" he said, realizing how bitter he sounded. "I did what I came here to do and we should head back. Blair can come to New York if she wants to see Grace."

"Mister Chuck what happen?"

"Pack her things _now_ Dorota."

Dorota eyed him skeptically but walked past him to start collecting the baby's things. Chuck fished out his phone from his pocket and called for his chopper. He couldn't wait to be out of New Haven. He would head home to New York and cuddle with his daughter and try for the umpteenth time to forget her mother.

* * *

><p>Well that's that. If there is enough interest for the rest of the story I'll post it. It will be a while before I update it though since I have other stories I'm more focused on and I won't post anything further until I've got a chapter about the same length as this one.<p>

Let me know your thoughts! Thanks for reading.


	2. First steps

It only took like three months, but here's another update =) It's kind of fragmented with no strong narrative line but focuses on some key events until Grace is about a year and a half. It's not very Chair-heavy and more about them finding a way to be around one another after the romance thing falling through again. Hopefully it's an entertaining read but beware that it's pretty long!

* * *

><p>Blair wasn't sure what to expect when she returned to Manhattan. She and Chuck had not spoken since his surprise visit in New Haven two days earlier other than saying "hello" to each other each night when Blair called to say goodnight to Grace. Blair was bursting with curiosity over what Chuck would say and do when they met again. Would he be ready and willing to tell her the words she needed to hear? What would his next move be? She had to admit that she was pleased with the turn of events bringing them from the awkwardness and over to their familiar games. Above all it made her feel better knowing he still wanted her.<p>

She knocked on the door before fishing out her key and walking inside. The first thing she saw was Grace sitting in her high chair in the middle of the living room. Then Chuck came into view, casting her a quick glance and then bending over to pick something up from the floor. She could tell he was tensed but she hadn't gotten a good enough look at his face to see where his mood seemed to be at.

"Hi Gracie!" Blair cooed and walked over to the baby. "God I've missed you! Mommy's back, sweetie."

"She's been fed and changed" Chuck said in a toneless voice and set down a bag by Blair's feet. "Here's all her stuff."

"Oh" Blair said, slightly surprised. "I wasn't expecting you to have everything packed and ready."

"All three of us will be happier if we make this as quick and easy as possible" he answered and nudged Blair aside to lift Grace up from her chair. He held her close and walked over to the windows. "Goodbye now. I'll see you on Sunday night. Next week we're going to go swimming. How about that?"

Blair studied him with a strong feeling of disappointment. It was clear as day that his walls had gone back up. She could see him struggling a bit with keeping his casual exterior but it was obvious that he wasn't going to show her one bit of the Chuck who had come to New Haven in hopes of getting a second chance. This was not the reaction she had expected and her heart sank to the soles of her shoes. He wasn't even going to fight for her, it seemed. She wanted to hate him for giving up at the first sign of hardship but she was too weary from everything that had happened between them. If this was how he wanted to play it then she would go along with it. When he decided he was mature enough to really fight for her then she could begin to consider being with him. Right now it felt like she was always on the losing end and she had enough to deal with as it was.

Once he had finished saying goodbye to the baby he walked over and sat her down in the stroller. Blair grabbed the bag and flung it over her shoulder while Chuck adjusted the tiny beret he had bought for Grace the previous day.

"I have some news" Blair said. "I found an apartment."

Chuck froze for a second. Then he continued fussing with the beret as if he hadn't heard what she just said.

"It's a beautiful three bedroom apartment overlooking-"

"Congratulations" he cut her off.

"I move in November first."

"Thanks for the warning."

He kissed the baby's forehead and then stood up straight. Without as much as a glance at Blair he walked over to the bookshelf and started flipping through his DVDs. Blair eyed him with confusion. This was another reaction she hadn't expected.

"That's it?" she said. "That's all you have to say?"

"The agreement was made weeks ago" Chuck answered. "I knew it was only a matter of time. Doesn't mean I like it but what's the point in arguing?"

Blair stood there for a minute, not quite sure what to say or do next. She couldn't make sense of any of his reactions today. Since she didn't know how to handle this situation she decided to just leave and give him some time. She hated that things were awkward again but at least they weren't fighting. She grabbed her purse from the floor and turned the stroller around, heading for the door.

* * *

><p>Chuck spent the weekend in his hotel room, not sticking his nose out the door for as much as a minute. He felt depressed and alone but he knew those were feelings he needed to get used to. Blair wanted more than he could give so that door was closed for now and she had found an apartment and would be taking Grace to college with her. Chuck's weeks would be spent without Blair and without his daughter and there was nothing to say to that.<p>

When Blair dropped Grace off on Sunday he was extremely relieved to be holding his baby in his arms again. Before he put Grace to bed in the evening he gave her a bath and noticed that she seemed to be in quite a mellow mood as well. This was nothing new. She had stopped crying when Blair dropped her off but it always took her a few hours or sometimes a day to stop looking for Blair and stop being sad that she was nowhere to be found.

"Guess we're both kind of blue tonight, huh?" he said while drying her off.

Grace said nothing but tried to stick a bit of the towel in her mouth. Chuck let her and tried his best to dry her hair which was easier said than done since she didn't enjoy it very much. After a few minutes he gave up and decided it could dry on its own before he tucked her in. Grace looked up at him and dropped her grip of the towel to lean forward and place one hand on each side of Chuck's mouth.

"Dada" she said.

"Dada" Chuck said back and rubbed his nose against hers. Then he wrapped her in the large towel and lifted her up. "Come along. Let's go heat up your gruel and then we'll find you a pajamas and brush your tiny little teeth."

He went through their evening routine on autopilot though he knew he should be savoring each moment. Before long he would be getting only a few nights a week with her. Having her for four to five days every week had been a luxury but he had always known it was only temporary. He had hoped though that Blair wouldn't find an apartment just yet.

When Grace was ready for bed he carried her into his bedroom and sat down on his bed. He contemplated letting her go to sleep there but he had only let her do that a handful of times before and he knew she needed to be used to sleeping in the crib. He rocked her gently back and forth and sighed.

"I don't regret being a young parent" he told her. "I do regret being a single parent. Part-time parenthood sucks. Maybe once you get older and start bugging me all the time I'll be relieved when you go to your mother's so I can go out and live a normal teenage life but right now this is pretty much all I have. Kind of sad, huh? I'm Chuck Bass. I should have the world at my feet." He snorted. "You know what Grace? This is pathetic. Chuck Bass does not sit around feeling sorry for himself. Tomorrow you and I are going to start getting serious about my business agenda. Next weekend when Blair is taking care of you I'm going to go out and get drunk and… well, do some stuff you'll never want to hear about me. I've allowed myself to be dragged down for far too long by this whole thing with your mother and it's about time I got myself together."

Grace sneezed and it brought him out of his musings. He stood up and carried her to the crib, carefully laying her down next to the balled-up scarf.

"Sleep tight, little princess" he said. "We have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

* * *

><p>Anxious to see Grace Blair walked through the doors, finding the baby wobbly standing, holding on to the couch, Chuck sitting right next to her with a hand on her back. They both looked up when Blair entered though Chuck's eyes went right back to the baby as if Blair was nothing of interest. Grace on the other hand reached out her hand and, letting go of the couch, took three steps towards her mother.<p>

"Mama!" she said.

Chuck's and Blair's jaws fell in what almost looked like a synchronized motion. Chuck practically dove forward to catch Grace as she lost her balance and tipped over forward while Blair rushed over and was down on her knees pulling the baby back up on her feet and into a hug in an instant.

"My God, Grace!" she cried. "Oh my big girl you _walked_!"

"Did you _see_ that?" Chuck exclaimed. "Good girl Grace. Good girl!"

"My little angel" Blair said, pulling Grace even closer and slowly rocking her while tears filled her eyes. "I can never leave you again!"

"Blair" Chuck said in an amused tone before frowning at how she was bogarting the child when he wanted to hug her too.

"You walked to me" Blair said to Grace. "Took your first steps to get to me! Chuck I am serious, this is it, I cannot be parted from her for this long, not ever!"

"She's going to have the most awkward college experience, social life and above all honeymoon of all time" Chuck replied dryly. "Blair let go, let me hold her."

"You had her all week" Blair said, tears falling down her face. "Grace Mommy promises you she won't be gone for this long again, okay? I simply cannot be. I need to be with you, don't I? My walking little sweetheart!"

She rose from the floor, Grace cradled in her arms. Chuck flew to his feet, trying his best to get access to the baby as well. Grace seemed surprised at all the attention but wasn't one to complain. Chuck ran his hand through her hair and grinned.

"What a little superstar you are" he said. "Blair I'm serious, stop hugging her. Put her down, let's see if she can do it again."

"I don't know if I'm horrified or overjoyed" Blair said.

"Horrified?"

"She just took her very first steps so she could get to me. Because she missed me. Because I've been gone far too long."

"Can we please put your issues on hold for the moment and see if our daughter can walk again?" Chuck asked.

Reluctantly Blair kneeled and put the baby down on the floor. She had Grace standing up and held on to her hands.

"Walk for us Grace" she said. "Good girl, you can do it."

Very wobbly Grace took a few steps, Blair holding on to her hands keeping her upright. When the baby stopped Chuck scooped her up in his arms and hugged her tight.

"This calls for a celebration!" he said. "But first, get the camera Blair. We have to film this. We missed capturing the first steps but we can at least get her tenth on camera."

Blair nodded and hurried over to her purse to get her camera. Chuck lifted Grace high up in the air, making her squeal with delight.

"Just look at her Blair, all cool and calm as if this is no big deal" he said with a smile. "Just taking it all in her stride. We're going to have her running around all over the place before we know it."

"This means she'll be able to reach things she hasn't been able to reach before" Blair said, returning with the camera.

"She's going to be a full-time project for sure."

"I'm going to have to make sure the apartment is completely baby-proofed before we move in there."

Chuck's smile faded somewhat at the reminder of Blair taking Grace to New Haven. He decided to try and ignore it and focus on his daughter right now. She was laughing happily at being lifted up in the air and said a whole bunch of nonsensical syllables. He put her back down on the floor and backed away a few steps.

"Chuck be careful" Blair frowned while filming. "She could fall."

"Nah" Chuck said. "It's not as cool if I'm holding her as she goes. Come here Grace. Come and walk to Daddy."

Grace took a wobbly step towards him and then lost her balance. He reached forward and managed to catch her in time. Blair's frown deepened.

"I want to get Grace's first steps on camera, not Grace's first black eye."

"Would you relax?" Chuck said in a slightly irritated tone.

Blair didn't feel much like relaxing but she also didn't want their film of Grace's first steps to include tons of bickering between herself and Chuck so she didn't reply. She watched in silence as he helped Grace find her balance and then took a few steps back.

"Oh, careful there" Blair said as Grace wobbled.

"Let's show your future self what you could do at this age, huh?" Chuck said to the baby. "Walk to me. We know you can do it."

Grace took three steps forward and reached her father. Chuck grabbed her while she threw her tiny arms up and down and cried happily, very satisfied with having learned a new and perhaps more efficient way of moving forward.

"Daddy's little strider" Chuck said in his talk-to-babies voice.

Blair smiled a little and kept filming. It was the first really good moment they had all had together since Grace's birthday.

* * *

><p>"I can't believe Gracie took her first steps and you didn't get it on camera" Serena said as she and Blair walked down the street. She was looking at the footage Blair had shot the other day showing Grace's <em>almost<em> first steps. "For shame, B!"

"It's not like she announced it in advance" Blair objected. "One minute she was standing wobbly by the table, the next she had taken her first steps! Please, no Neil Armstrong jokes. It just seems a bit strange though, you know? It's like one minute she's this tiny thing the size of Chuck's forearm and the next she's walking and talking and before you know it she'll be wearing makeup and riding a bike."

"Given what an early walker Chuck was she's kind of late on the whole first-steps thing" Serena remarked.

"Oh what do you know?" Blair asked and snatched her camera back.

"Oh!" Serena exclaimed and pointed. "Prada! Let's go inside."

Blair followed her friend inside the store and casually looked around. She wasn't in the shopping mood but she had barely seen Serena at all since she had gone off to college. Serena had deferred from Brown for a year and Blair barely even knew the details. It had seemed impossible to say no to a round of shopping with her best friend even though Blair would much rather take Grace to the park.

"How about this, B?" Serena said and held up a maroon shirt. "Wouldn't this go with Yale? Or how about this jacket?"

Blair feigned a smile and feigned interest in the clothes. Serena quickly got one of the store clerks to show her all the latest items while Blair tried to avoid the clerk's attention. It used to be that shopping helped make her feel better when she was in a bad mood but it didn't seem to be doing anything at the moment.

"Come on B, isn't this fun?" Serena said, a touch too excitedly.

Blair smiled at her, feeling a bit bad for not being able to show enough interest.

"It's great S" she said. "Sometimes I miss the old days. Remember? We used to go shopping and then stop by Nate's and he would be completely uninterested in what we'd bought but Chuck would comment on practically every garment."

"It's been a long time since the four of us did anything together, just the four of us" Serena noted while holding up a dress in front of herself in the mirror. "What do you think Blair? Does this color suit me?"

"I'm pretty sure the day they found a color that _didn't_ suit you the headlines would be worldwide."

"We should do something together some weekend."

"What, like… something different than this?"

"No, no, not just you and me" Serena said and handed the clerk the dress. "The four of us. Like in the olden days."

"I'm not so sure that's a wonderful idea" Blair said skeptically, deciding to try on a blouse. "Nate and I haven't really seen each other much since we broke up and Chuck and me…"

"Are things really that bad?" Serena asked with a worried frown.

"They're just… sort of awkward these days" Blair said. "We're not fighting anymore but Chuck has apparently decided that we're going to pretend like nothing ever happened. I'm not so good at that."

"You know, you have to try and become friends again" Serena said.

"Can't I just take care of Grace in New Haven and Chuck can have her like ten days a month and we can parent together without interacting much?" Blair said, knowing how lame it sounded. "I mean…"

"You mean what?" Serena asked. "You're going to have to sit down over a cup of coffee when we're done shopping and explain what's really been going on because I don't get it. I know how you feel about him. Why pretend like you don't want to see him? I thought you were past all of that."

"It's not that I don't love him" Blair said. "It's that he can't love me or doesn't want to or is too damn cowardly to. I'm done putting myself in that place. The ball is one hundred percent in his corner now and he's choosing to act like there never was a ball in the first place."

"So… what? You're going to be stuck in emotional limbo until Grace beats both of you to the altar?"

"I don't know Serena" Blair said.

"Here's what I propose" Serena said. "We find a weekend that fits all four of us and we have dinner and play some cards or whatever. Now that Chuck and Nate are finally starting to be able to spend time together without bludgeoning one another I think it's about time you and Chuck became more amicable. Who knows, it might even be easier for you to hang out together when you're not alone with the baby. Come on B, it would be fun!"

"Okay, fine" Blair said. "But you're going to have to put it all together. You can call Dorota and get mine and Grace's calendar."

"It _will_ be fun" Serena smiled. "Just like old times! Except in the old times there wasn't a baby. You think Dorota can babysit?"

"The baby is part of the deal nowadays" Blair reminded her. "You want both Chuck and me to be there? Then Grace comes along."

"Maybe it will benefit Grace" Serena smirked. "Mom and Dad forced to be friends while taking care of her and hanging out with their best buds."

"We're Upper East Siders" Blair pointed out. "We don't say '_buds_'."

Serena laughed and took her impressive pile of clothes to go and try them on. Blair followed her and wondered if maybe Serena didn't have a point after all. Spending time together with Serena, Chuck and Nate could be just what they all needed.

* * *

><p>Grace pulled herself up on her feet, took two steps and then fell back on her rear. She looked surprised for a second and then began to cry.<p>

"Oh, poor baby, she hurt herself" Serena said.

"She's fine" Chuck said while Blair walked over and gave the baby some attention. "She's not crying because that hurt. She's crying because she's stubborn and it annoys her that her legs won't carry her when _she_ thinks that she should be able to walk."

"You sound like such a loving father" Nate commented.

"She's fine" Blair agreed, lifting the baby up to standing again. "Like Chuck said, the only thing she hurt was her pride."

"Aren't you worried she might hurt herself though?" Serena wondered. "Okay if she lands on her ass but she could really hurt herself if she fell face forward."

"She won't" Chuck shrugged. "And even if she does it's not like she has a long way to fall. She'll be fine."

"She's got to learn somehow, S" Blair said. "Let her try and try and try again. Sooner or later she'll get the hang of it, and when she does there won't be a dull moment."

She walked back over to the table where the other three were sitting and grabbed her cards, keeping half an eye on the baby on the floor. Serena had finally managed to gather them all at the van der Woodsen residence for a Saturday evening of poker, dinner and a valiant attempt at rekindling old friendships. Grace was in the middle of an intense period of trying to learn how to walk properly and take as many steps as she wanted to but things weren't quite going her way even though it had been almost non-stop for two weeks.

They continued to play for a while, all four of them constantly looking over to see how the child was doing. Grace never managed more than a step or two at a time and got just as angry every time she fell but when nobody came to comfort her she eventually stopped crying each time she fell and just made some angry noises.

After about twenty minutes she seemed to have given up on walking for now. She began to move over to the kitchen with the same substitute for crawling that she had used since the summer. Blair and Chuck followed her with their eyes until she was out of sight. Then they heard a series of loud bangs.

"What is she doing?" Nate asked warily.

"She has some toys on the floor" Chuck said, eyes on his cards.

Serena looked from Chuck to Blair but neither seemed about to walk over and see exactly what was going on. Not even when a louder bang was heard, followed by an enthusiastic shriek. Apparently whatever the baby was up to, it was nothing new.

They continued to play for a few minutes, trying their best to make themselves heard over the banging coming from the kitchen. Judging by the sound Grace was banging something against a pot. Then suddenly the noises stopped and everything was quiet. Chuck and Blair shared a look before throwing their cards down on the table and walking into the kitchen to see what was going on.

"The baby bangs on stuff and creates a ton of noise and they're not the least bit concerned" Nate noted to Serena. "Then she stops making noise and all of a sudden they couldn't get in there faster."

Blair and Chuck came back out with the baby in Blair's arms. Serena looked up with a raised eyebrow.

"She had decided it would be a good idea to try and reach for a bowl on the counter" Blair said. "She was only reaching, but she was probably only a second or two away from deciding to try and climb kitchen drawers to get up there."

"I don't get why you would leave her unattended in a _kitchen_ to begin with" Nate said with a frown.

"So long as she stays on the ground there's no danger" Chuck said. "The place is baby-proofed, and we have nothing in there that she could get a hold of that might hurt her. So long as she sits there banging a ladle against a pot we know what she's up to. But if she tried and climb the drawers she could fall and hurt herself."

"Yeah but still. A _kitchen_. You don't _know_ that she can't hurt herself. In fact, you guys just ran in there to stop her from hurting herself."

"She's fine Nate" Blair said, not in the mood to get parenting advice from someone who was barely a functioning adult.

"Where were we?" Chuck asked and sat back down.

Blair put the baby back down on the rug and handed her a puzzle where each piece had a handle, which immediately caught Grace's attention. Then she walked back and sat down, grabbing her cards.

"The good thing about this baby is that you can easily distract her with toys" Blair said. "So long as she has something to occupy her mind with she's self-entertaining. She can sit for the longest time with something that challenges her mind."

"Which is why we've made sure to secure her a spot at an elite preschool" Chuck said. "Then it's off to the best private schools of course. The girl's got a lot of brain and we intend to make sure she uses every iota of it."

"So there's no pressure on her then" Serena commented dryly.

"We want our daughter to maximize her full potential" Blair said.

"Sure" Serena said. "Side-effects include gastric ulcer at age ten and a lifelong inferiority complex when she can't live up to the monumental expectations her parents put on her when she was only a baby."

"Spoken like someone who never had to live up to any expectations because everyone realized from the start that she simply had very little potential" Chuck snorted.

"Right, this coming from the guy who didn't get into college" Serena bit back.

"I could have gotten into college if I had studied harder" Chuck argued. "I have intelligence, I just chose not to channel it into school."

"Then how intelligent are you really, if you don't realize that you need to use your brain power to study and get an education?" Nate replied.

"My grades were better than yours" Chuck mumbled.

"Enough" Blair said. "Serena there's nothing wrong with wanting your child to realize their full potential. That doesn't automatically mean we'll push her too far."

"All we're saying is that if she doesn't get straight As she can forget about dating, hanging out with friends and using the computer" Chuck joked.

"Poor baby" Nate said.

All four heads turned towards the child as Grace began to angrily slam a puzzle piece down over and over where she thought it ought to go. Chuck laughed, finding it endearing that she had the stubborn mindset of "it _will_ go here because I _say_ so" that reminded him of Blair. Nate and Serena both raised an eyebrow and looked at the parents.

"Smart, is she?" Serena said dryly.

"Don't you just admire that determination?" Blair asked with a loving sigh.

Chuck put his cards down and walked over to Grace, kneeling to help her out with the puzzle before she broke it.

"Here dearie, let me show you" he said.

He grabbed the puzzle piece from his daughter who immediately began to cry. Serena rolled her eyes and Nate covered his ears with his hands.

"What?" Blair said defensively. "She's too young to know to share. Chuck give her the piece back."

"Here, this is where it goes" Chuck instructed and put the piece in its rightful place.

Grace frowned, but stopped crying. She looked at the puzzle with a thoughtful face and then grabbed another piece.

"And where does that go?" Chuck asked.

The baby tried a few different variants before finding the proper place for the piece. Chuck looked up at Serena and Nate with a triumphant look.

"How is that not a genius baby?" he asked.

"Chuck the puzzle has four pieces" Nate pointed out.

"She's just over a year old" Blair countered. "Most babies her age probably can't do any puzzles at all."

"I think you're a genius" Chuck told the baby and gave her forehead a kiss.

"Come on man, you want to play cards or what?" Nate asked.

"Yeah just a minute" Chuck said, waiting while Grace placed the final piece in its place. "That's my girl."

"She's going to be doing 500 piece puzzles by the time she's five" Blair said with a content smile.

"Not on your life" Serena snorted.

Chuck turned the puzzle upside down so that the pieces fell out, allowing the baby to start over. Then he walked over to the table and sat back down.

"Okay where were we?"

"Waiting for you or Blair, again" Nate said with a sigh.

"Patience is a virtue, Archibald" Chuck replied.

They continued to play for a while, Grace entertaining herself on the floor. Serena kept losing and finally she seemed to get tired. She leaned back in her chair, tossed the cards on the table and sighed.

"Is anyone else getting hungry?" she asked.

"Yes" Blair said, glancing at her wristwatch. "But more importantly, it's time to get some food in Grace. Then we can put her down for a nap and have dinner ourselves."

"Hungry, kiddo?" Chuck asked the baby as he put his cards down. "I'll pick her up, you go warm something for her?" he suggested to Blair.

"Oh let me help!" Serena chirped. "Can I feed her?"

"I don't think you want to do that" Nate said. "You're wearing a white blouse."

"Yeah?"

"It won't be white after Grace has eaten."

"He's right" Blair said, putting her cards down and getting up from her seat. "She's one, Serena. Have you forgotten how grossed out you where when you saw her eating this summer? Proper dining etiquette comes later on in life."

"Oh but it gives her daddy so much joy to see the look on Blair's face whenever Grace spatters food all over her" Chuck grinned, picking the baby up.

"Oh and you don't make funny faces when she get spaghetti all over your imported shirts" Blair retorted.

She walked to the kitchen while Chuck placed Grace in her high chair. Grace didn't seem too keen to be sitting there and squirmed, wanting to get back down to the floor.

"Can I trust you two to keep an eye on her while I get her bib?" Chuck asked Nate and Serena who were still sitting by the table.

"Of course!" Serena chirped.

With a nod Chuck walked to the kitchen to get the bib. Serena made faces at Grace and grinned widely.

"Don't you wish you could have one of your own?" she said to Nate.

Nate frowned and eyed the one year-old who was still squirming in her seat.

"Honestly the more I think about it the more appealing the thought becomes of adopting a ten year-old when I decide to have kids" he said.

"No, this is the age when they're the most adorable" Serena cooed.

"Yeah, and they're a pain in the ass."

"They are not" Serena protested. "How is she a pain in the ass?"

"She can't sit still for two seconds, for one" Nate noted.

Chuck came back out with the bib and sighed at Grace's squirming.

"Sit still, Mom's on her way with some food" he said and did his best to try and put the bib on the child.

"No" Grace protested.

"Adorable" Nate commented sarcastically to Serena.

"Sit still" Chuck repeated, sounding less patient. "You're hungry aren't you? Mom will be here any minute."

"No!" Grace insisted.

"Seriously S, you long till you have one of these?" Nate had to ask.

"No one in their right mind longs till they have a stubborn one year-old who doesn't want to do what _you_ want them to" Chuck remarked. "Wait until she's eaten and it's time to lull her to sleep for her nap. _That_ is the kind of thing people look forward to when they talk about wanting to have children."

"Well you can't have the cuddly baby without the fussing baby so count me out for now" Nate said. "She was so much easier to deal with this spring."

"Thank goodness you didn't become a long-term stepparent" Chuck muttered under his breath before turning to Grace. "Would you stop squirming? Mom's on her way with dinner. Yum. Don't you want food?"

"Food" Grace said but still tried to squirm and get down on the floor.

"You eat your food at the table and not on the floor" Chuck said firmly. "You're not a dog." He groaned. "How can a person be so interested in eating yet so difficult to get to sit at the table for a meal?"

"She's awfully loud" Nate commented, wrinkling his nose.

"I'm going to go see if Blair needs any help" Serena said, getting up.

Nate rolled his eyes at her quick escape. A grin then spread across his face when Serena bumped into Blair coming back with Grace's food.

"Did you get her bib on Bass?" Blair asked, stirring the food with a spoon.

"I did. Then she got it off. So I'm trying to get it back on again."

"Why don't you let Serena do it?" Nate suggested.

"Fine Nate, I get your point" Serena sighed.

"Sit still Grace" Chuck said firmly, tired of the baby's squirming.

Blair sat down next to Grace and held up a spoon full of spaghetti.

"Look at this Grace! Yummy!"

Grace paused for a moment and looked at the spoon. Then she made a protesting sound and tried to wriggle away again. Chuck sighed and threw his hands up in the air.

"She's all yours Waldorf. I'll go and order some food for us."

"What is _wrong_ with her?" Serena asked.

"I don't know, for some reason she sometimes gets really angry if she has to eat by herself" Blair said. "If we're eating at the same time she never fights us."

"Then why not just wait until our food arrives?" Nate asked. "Chuck where are you ordering from? Can we go Thai?"

"No, no way, I don't want to eat at the same time as her" Serena protested. "Feeding her is fun but she's a complete slob and I'd lose my appetite."

"Okay the next person who criticizes my daughter gets kicked out" Blair snarled. "I don't want her to eat with us because she can't wait that long. Gracie, come on, open wide and take a bite. One big bite for Mama."

"No!" Grace protested and turned her head away when Blair held up the spoon.

"When I leave here I'm stopping at a drugstore to buy condoms" Nate said.

"Open wide Grace" Blair said and mimicked what she wanted the baby to do.

Grace squirmed a little but obediently opened her mouth and took the bite. Once she had started to eat she was more easily convinced to continue, at least until Chuck came back a few minutes later.

"They're a bit backed up" he said. "Food will be here in about an hour."

"Dada" Grace said, squirming around in her chair.

"Hey there dearie. How's your dinner?"

"Chuck stop bothering her" Blair frowned. "Grace look at Mommy. Look at Mommy. Come on, open wide. Take a bite for Grandpa Harold."

"No" Grace whined.

"Grace, Mommy's getting a little tired of this."

"She's really not in the mood today, is she?" Chuck commented. "Do you think we waited too long? Or is she getting too tired?"

"She was eating just fine until you came in and interrupted her" Blair said.

"What, this is my fault?"

Serena sighed and made a face. Chuck and Blair had been getting along fairly well all evening but apparently that was over now.

"Grace stop it" Blair said as the baby squirmed even more. "Eat your spaghetti. It's going to get cold."

Chuck walked into the kitchen and came back carrying a couple of fruits. He handed an apple to Nate and a banana to Serena and took a seat net to Grace while taking a bite of a pear.

"A snack before dinner?" Nate questioned.

"Just eat it" Chuck said. "Maybe she'll be more inclined to eat if we're eating."

"Well why does Serena get the banana and I get an apple?"

Chuck rolled his eyes and didn't answer. He turned to Grace instead and made sure he caught her attention.

"Yum" he said. "Food. Don't you want some food too Grace?"

The baby eyed him for a moment and then glanced over at Serena and Nate who were eating their fruits as well. When Blair held up the fork to her she opened her mouth without fuss and took the bite.

"That's more like it" Chuck said.

"We have to make her knock this habit" Blair said. "She has to be able to eat properly without us eating too."

"Why?" Chuck asked. "She's going to spend most of her life eating with other people."

"She can't sustain herself on only three meals per day."

"Could you please not bicker" Serena said. "We were having a good time until you started squabbling."

"Nobody's squabbling" Blair said.

Chuck didn't say anything. He finished his pear and then got up to clear the table for dinner. Blair got Grace to finish her meal and then cleaned her off with a napkin.

"Let's go change your diaper" she said, lifting the baby up. "We can put your pajamas on while we're at it."

"So at this point, does she sleep quietly through the night?" Serena asked.

"Sometimes" Chuck said. "Why?"

"No reason."

Chuck smirked. He had decided to leave his hotel room and move back in at the van der Woodsen residence since neither him nor Grace felt much at home at the Palace these days. He had told Serena earlier in the day and at first she had been thrilled to get to live with the baby a few days each week but now she seemed to be having concerns.

"Don't worry sis" Chuck said. "You could go off to college if you wanted to get to get to sleep through the night."

"Very funny" Serena said.

"Are you sure all this back and forth is healthy?" Nate asked. "First she's at Blair's, then she's here, then she's at a hotel room, then she's at another hotel room, then she's at Blair's, then she's back here, then she's in New Haven…"

"If the movie stars can do it then what's the problem?" Serena shrugged.

"It's not ideal" Chuck admitted. "And I won't be staying here indefinitely. I'm going to start looking for a place of my own."

"Why not just stay at the hotel until then?" Nate asked.

"I feel like I've outgrown the Palace" Chuck said. "Besides, it's time for me to step out of my father's shadow. I can't live in his hotel all my life."

Serena found the conversation boring and got up to go see if Blair needed any help. She found her in the bathroom putting a new diaper on Grace who was uncharacteristically still on the changing table.

"There we go, doll" Blair cooed. "Let's get you a pajamas. Are you getting sleepy?"

"How come she squirmed like crazy when she was eating and now she's perfectly calm?" Serena asked.

Blair shrugged.

"Who knows? She just decided not to wiggle too much right now."

"It's so weird to think you'll be moving her to New Haven for real" Serena mused and leaned against the wall, looking down at the baby.

"Things change S" Blair said.

"Yeah I know… Still, I'm going to miss having her close. I kind of wish you didn't go to school so far away sometimes."

Blair groaned and grabbed a pair of pajamas with little frogs on.

"Am I the only one who recognizes that we live in a millennia where women get to have an education even if they have babies?"

"Oh this has nothing to do with Grace" Serena said. Then she smiled. "This is all me being selfish. I miss having my best friend nearby."

"Connecticut is practically around the corner" Blair pointed out.

"Not really" Serena said. "Maybe I should try and get in at Yale instead, for next year. What do you think?"

"I think you should go to Brown, S" Blair said and struggled with getting the pajamas on Grace. "Brown was always your dream."

"Not the way Yale was yours. I don't know, maybe Brown is completely wrong for me. Why else would I hesitate to go?"

"Because it's a big commitment and you've always been weary of them" Blair said.

"That is not true" Serena objected. "I was more than willing to commit to Dan."

"Dan was your junior year boyfriend" Blair argued. "At that age committing means agreeing to go to the next three parties together."

"Really?" Serena said and motioned to the baby.

"Really" Blair said. "Even Chuck and I who had a baby together during high school never committed to one another."

"I don't think age was the problem there" Serena said dryly. Then she cooed at the baby. "Look at you Gracie, all ready for bed! We need to have a serious talk about your wardrobe though. PJs are out this fall."

"Didn't you hear, S?" Blair asked and grabbed a firm hold of Grace. "Frogs are the latest in baby fashion. All the cool toddlers are wearing them."

"I'm pretty sure penguins are what's cool right now."

Blair snorted and sat down on the toilet seat with Grace to brush her teeth. Serena handed her the toothbrush and watched as Grace opened her mouth without struggle to allow her mother to brush. Sometimes she marveled at how much a mother Blair was. Though it was even more strange seeing Chuck taking his fatherhood so seriously. Especially since it had taken months for him to even show any real interest in his child.

"Okay Grace, you are all done" Blair said. "Let's go sit on the couch and wait for the food to get here."

"Food?" Grace said, interest woken.

"Not for you, honey" Blair said. "You are going to get to sit down on the couch with me and have some gruel. How about that?"

"You give her gruel after she's brushed her teeth?" Serena questioned.

"Gruel before bed helps her go to sleep and it helps her sleep through the night" Blair said, annoyed at being questioned. "If she falls asleep with her bottle we can't wake her up to brush her teeth so we do that beforehand."

"I hope you get a good dentist for her."

Blair ignored Serena and got up, adjusting her grip on the baby. They walked back out to Nate and Chuck who were arguing over the rules to _Gin_.

"Hey there Grace" Chuck said. "Are you ready for your bottle?"

"Cutting it close, aren't you?" Nate said, glancing at his wristwatch. "Our food will be here in like fifteen minutes."

"Maybe we should wait and let her have the bottle after we've eaten" Chuck said to Blair.

"No" Blair protested. "She's sleepy _now_. If we keep her waiting she's going to get overly tired and we'll never be able to get her to go to sleep."

"Okay, fine" Chuck said. "I'll go get the bottle."

Ten minutes later he sat on the couch cradling Grace who was working on her bottle. The other three were by the table having their dinner. Serena looked over at Chuck and made a disappointed face.

"This was not what I had in mind for tonight" she griped. "We're supposed to have dinner _together_."

"What?" Chuck said. "I'm in the room."

"It's not the same thing."

"Once she's done with the bottle I'll take over and you can get some dinner" Blair offered and took another bite.

"No that's alright" Chuck said. "She'll fall asleep more easily if we don't move her from my arms to yours."

"How long will it take before she's asleep?" Nate asked.

"Five minutes" Blair shrugged. "Or thirty-five. There's no off-button."

"You're going to have to eat your dinner cold" Nate frowned at Chuck.

"Welcome to parenthood" Chuck said.

Nate shook his head, thanking his lucky stars that Grace had turned out to be Chuck's daughter and not his own. Even Serena seemed cured of her baby love for the moment. He hoped Grace would fall asleep soon and stay asleep. They were too young to be constantly interrupted by a one year-old when they were trying to have a good time.

"This is so not what I had in mind for tonight" Serena mumbled under her breath.

"At least no one's arguing" Blair offered with a smile.

"Small comfort" Serena said. Then she laughed a little. "Okay, Grace's presence doesn't actually bother me. But once she's in her crib can we please just… be teenagers again for the rest of the evening?"

"Okay" Chuck said and put the empty bottle down on the coffee table. "You heard the woman, Grace. Go to sleep so Mommy and Daddy can party like it's -99."

"Oh!" Serena exclaimed with excitement. "That's what we need!"

"A new millennia?"

"Alcohol!"

"Perfect" Nate agreed.

Serena jumped up and hurried over to the bar to check what they had at home. Blair and Chuck shared a look.

"One of us has to stay sober" she said. "I vote that it be you."

"I vote that it not be me" Chuck argued.

"I had to stay sober while I was pregnant and while I was nursing" Blair objected. "Your turn, Bass."

"I'll flip you for it."

"Really glad I don't have a baby" Nate said and got up to go help Serena.

Blair went to get a coin to determine who would stay away from the alcohol. Chuck focused on rocking Grace to sleep and smiled a little. After fifteen minutes Grace had fallen asleep and he went to put her down in her crib before returning to his friends in the living room. He took the glass of mineral water a smirking Blair handed him and took a large sip. It did feel nice to just act like a regular teenager for a night, even if he was drinking non-alcoholic beverages.

* * *

><p>A few days passed and Chuck was slowly beginning to feel better about his situation. He had made plans to open up a club and it would require a lot of work and keep him properly distracted when Grace was away. It would also distract him from the situation with Blair and that was distraction he much needed. It was difficult to have feelings for her yet know he couldn't give her what she demanded and so he threw himself head first into his new project and he begun to feel quite excited about it. When Blair came back on a Wednesday evening to spend the night and then jet back to Yale in the morning he decided to tell her what he was doing.<p>

"I'm petrified to even ask the question" Blair said, pulling a blanket up over her sleeping baby. "How is it that you've been able to have so much success with the company in such a short amount of time? That kind of achievement seems to require full-time work but you've had Grace at least three days out of the week since I went to college."

"You're asking if I do all my business from home?" Chuck asked. "Or are you asking who I dump the baby with when I go running around on business meetings?"

"You were so adamant about me _not_ taking Grace to New Haven to be looked after by nannies when she could be with you in New York instead. For your sake I'm telling you you'd better not be leaving her with other people all day so _you_ can go out and do stuff. If you are then she's moving to New Haven with me full-time."

"I do have a nanny" Chuck admitted. "But she only works for me a few days a month, and part of that time I'm still at home. I figured it might be smart if I'm here while Grace gets to know her, make the transition easier."

He had hired his nanny about month earlier when he realized he really would need one. Countless young, beautiful women had showed up for interviews but he had chosen to hire a woman in her early fifties instead. Her name was Belle, and she was anything but. Which was partly the reason why Chuck had hired her. The last thing he wanted was a beautiful temptress in his home, looking after his baby. It had always made him uneasy that his uncle had put the moves on his own nannies, babysitters and au-pairs and was determined to never put Grace in that kind of position. The odds of him wanting to sleep with Belle were miniscule, which suited him perfectly.

In addition, Belle was a highly qualified candidate. She had no children of her own but had worked as a nanny on the Upper East Side for more than thirty years, with excellent credentials. So far Chuck had been very pleased with the way she took care of the baby and he knew Blair would approve when she met her.

Right now however Blair did not seem too thrilled.

"You hired a nanny?" she said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I did."

"And when were you planning on telling me this?"

"I don't know" he shrugged. "When were you planning on telling me you bought a new stroller?"

"What? How does that even compare?" Blair asked with an annoyed frown.

"We share custody but that doesn't mean we have to share everything. If I want to hire a nanny part-time then that's up to me."

"This nanny of yours, you found her at a Victoria's Secret fashion show, am I right?" Blair asked.

"Through a lot of hard work actually" Chuck replied. "I must have interviewed a hundred women for the job."

"No men? How sexist. But poor Chuck, it must have been agonizing to have to see that many people before you found the right amount of perky" Blair said, pointing to her breasts when she said the last word.

Chuck laughed.

"When you meet Belle, remember that you said that."

"Belle? Her name is _Belle_?"

"Yes. And no, she does not double as a stripper. That's her actual name."

"That's just great" Blair sighed. "I can _hear_ why you hired her."

"You're welcome to take a look at her credentials if you wish" Chuck offered. "I'll even make a deal with you. If you meet her and see her take care of Grace for one day and you don't want me to keep her after that… then I will fire her and hire someone else."

"Good" Blair said.

"Good. We're agreed then."

She gave him a joyless smile and walked past him out towards the living room. He followed her, entertained by the thought of what her reaction would be when she met Belle. Seeing the surprise on her face would surely be hilarious.

"So should I call Belle and request her services for tomorrow?" he asked.

"Not if you call it '_requesting her services_'."

"Calling it anything else wouldn't result in that delightfully indignant look on your face" Chuck smirked. "I'll go give her a call."

He walked off to get his phone and Blair slumped on the couch with an annoyed frown. She didn't approve of this new development. Not that she wasn't aware that Grace would get a nanny at some point, in fact she had begun to toy with the idea of getting an au pair to help her out at Yale, but she didn't trust Chuck's judgment in hiring one as far as she could throw him. He was, after all, a Bass.

After a few minutes he came back with a smile on his face.

"Belle has been summoned. The beauty shall arrive at eight Saturday morning."

"That had better be a Disney joke."

"Perhaps" he said, taking a seat next to her.

"For the record I highly disapprove of all of this."

He smirked.

"Blair on Saturday afternoon you will be contemplating hiring her to look after Grace when you have her in New Haven."

"That will never happen."

"Care to make a wager?"

"No" Blair frowned.

"What's the matter?" Chuck asked, eyebrow teasingly raised. "Scared you will lose?"

"I'm a mother" Blair said. "I'm a student at Yale. I would have been valedictorian if I hadn't spent so much time at home with Grace during senior year. I am far too mature to engage in silly wagers."

Chuck threw his head back and laughed.

"Tell me you don't actually believe that!"

"I do" Blair frowned. "You should think about maturing a bit yourself."

"I am maturing" Chuck said. "I hired a nanny. That's a big step, wouldn't you say?"

"I'm thinking we should go with an au pair instead" Blair said. "Not a young, sexy one but a young, mousy one. Au pairs are easier to push around and they work differently than nannies. If I hire one she'll be looking after Grace all the time, even when she's with you. Your little beauty can be let go."

"My little beauty will be able to kick your young, mousy au pair's ass" Chuck countered.

"Doubt it."

"You think a European chick in her early twenties would be a better caretaker for our child than a woman with vast experience?"

"Oh I'm sure she has vast experience" Blair said dryly.

Chuck laughed a little. Blair looked annoyed but he didn't care much. He knew she would change her tune once she met Belle.

"I'm going to start looking for an au pair" Blair said and stuck her chin in the air. "Even if by some obscure miracle this _Belle_ person is at least semi-competent enough to care for our daughter I still believe an au pair is the best choice. And you will come to see that I am right."

"Really? What makes you think that?"

"Because I know about these things."

"You forget who you're talking to" Chuck snorted. "I was _raised_ by au pairs. Some are good, some will _really_ help you become a man, but overall they're not all they're cranked up to be. Glorified live-in babysitters with foreign ideas in their head and no real motivation other than that they want to see another country."

"Maybe that's what happens when a Bass hires one" Blair said. "I'm a Waldorf and we do things differently."

"So basically what you want is to hire a Dorota? That seems to be how Waldorfs choose to raise their children. No offense to Dorota, but at least Belle is an actually nanny and not the maid who got stuck taking care of the kid."

Blair's jaw dropped and she snorted angrily at him. He wasn't sure if she was mad that he had insulted Dorota or mad that he had implied she hadn't been raised by someone proper enough, but clearly he was not on her list of favorite people at the moment.

"How dare you?" she asked.

"I know I'm speaking of our child's godmother but she's never been a professional nanny" Chuck said calmly.

"Well I'm not looking to hire a new Dorota" Blair reminded him angrily.

He smirked at her and got up from his seat on the couch.

"I'm bored" he declared. "I'm going to go plan my weekend. I'll be looking forward to hearing you admit that Belle was a terrific choice."

"Then you'll have to wait forever."

* * *

><p>Saturday morning Blair got up early and put her robe on, yawning as she went to get Grace from her crib and start her morning ritual. Before she could reach the crib Chuck held out an arm to stop her.<p>

"Not so fast, Waldorf."

"Bass…" Blair said, glaring at him like he'd lost his mind. "The baby needs to come up from her bed."

"Leave that to Belle. The point is for you to see her work."

"Your stripper nanny was supposed to be here at eight" Blair pointed out.

"It's 7:56."

"Cutting it close, isn't she?"

The elevator rang and Chuck grinned.

"There's our Mary Poppins now."

"I'm delighted" Blair said with as much obviously feigned sincerity as she could muster.

Chuck just grinned at her and walked out to greet the nanny. Blair crossed her arms over her chest and followed him. When she saw the woman who had walked inside, dressed in a grey dress suit and her almost white hair up in a tight bun, she couldn't conceal a scoff. This was the woman Chuck had hired?

"Blair, come and say hi to the nanny" Chuck said, wildly entertained by the expression on Blair's face.

"Ms. Waldorf" Belle said, her voice calm and smooth. She walked over to Blair and extended her hand. "I'm Belle Raver. It's a pleasure meeting you."

"Likewise" Blair said skeptically, shaking the older woman's hand as if it might be a bomb.

"Mr. Bass tells me you're not comfortable with little Grace being looked after by someone you've neither met nor approved" Belle said, pretending not to notice the angry glare Blair shot in Chuck's direction. "I hope you will feel at ease after today."

"Well, I, I mean it's certainly not personal" Blair managed to say.

"Oh don't worry about it, it's a perfectly normal reaction" Belle said. "I brought a copy of my credentials if you wish to take a look at them."

"Mama!" Grace yelled from the bedroom.

"I was just about to bring her up for the morning" Blair said.

"Allow me" Belle said and walked right past Blair to Chuck's bedroom.

Blair watched her go with eyebrows raised. The woman walked in short yet efficient steps that made Blair wonder if Chuck had hired a nanny from some sort of military facility. But she did seem calm and perhaps even a tiny touch warm and most of all she was so far from what Blair had been expecting that it wouldn't have surprised Blair if she had indeed taken out an umbrella and flown into the bedroom.

"Say, how much do you figure she makes during one night of stripteasing?" Chuck asked, enjoying the moment far more than Blair thought he should.

Blair huffed and strode into Chuck's bedroom where Belle had just lifted Grace up into her arms. Grace had a pacifier in her mouth and the scarf ball in one hand, her pink pajamas wrinkly and her hair a mess.

"Good morning sweetheart" Blair said.

"Let's take you to the bathroom" Belle said to Grace.

Chuck walked in and nearly managed to catch the scarf ball when Grace let go of it. Belle walked to the bathroom and Chuck studied his once pristine scarf with a frown.

"She's more than a year old" he said. "She shouldn't need to have it abused into a ball to keep her from strangling herself with it. My poor Boris, this kind of treatment is not what he was made for."

"God Bass, it's just a scarf" Blair said with rolling eyes and followed Belle to the bathroom to watch her handle Grace.

A few hours later she sat down on the couch with Grace in her arms while Chuck followed Belle to the elevator. She had to admit he had found a very competent nanny. Not that she would praise Belle to the high heavens. She didn't want Chuck to get too cocky.

"Fine" she said when he walked over and took a seat. "She's not half bad."

"She's terrific" Chuck argued. "You saw her credentials, you saw how she was with Grace. More importantly you saw that Grace is comfortable with her."

"I suppose you can keep her."

"How very generous of you" Chuck snorted.

"I'm still getting an au pair."

"And what precisely is she going to do when Grace is with me? Perhaps tidy up your apartment and do the cooking? A little like what… Dorota did around your house when you were a kid."

Blair didn't bother to answer and her silence made him grin. For once he had won parenting points over her and he planned on enjoying it. The decision to hire Belle was a good one and he wouldn't let her act otherwise.

* * *

><p>Blair collapsed on the couch with a groan, putting her feet up on the coffee table. Who ever knew that moving could be such a pain? It had taken days to pack everything she and Grace would need and the better part of a weekend to get all her new furniture in place and all their boxes unpacked. She had left Grace with Chuck until Sunday afternoon so they wouldn't have a toddler crawling around, getting in their way, and going back to Manhattan to get her had not been a fun experience. Not just for the trip but for how difficult it had been to watch Chuck say goodbye to her. He would see her again in a few days but this was the first time in almost a year that he hadn't been in the same state as her and she knew how difficult it was. It was unfortunate but it had to happen.<p>

Then once she had arrived with the baby in New Haven Grace had been fussy and spent the better part of the evening screaming and protesting against everything Blair wanted her to do. Either she missed her father or she didn't like the travel or she didn't like her new home or something else was wrong. Whatever it was it was the last thing Blair needed at the time and it had been a relief when she finally went to sleep, especially since the process of getting her ready for bed had taken almost half an hour longer than usual and Blair had had to sit by her crib for fifteen minutes before she fell asleep.

Blair wiggled her toes a little and studied her feet with a bored expression. This was the first night she had spent all alone without anybody but the baby in the house with her. It felt weird, lonely and a bit scary. She had never liked being alone in the evening and the idea of sleeping by herself was unsettling. If someone broke in to do something bad to her or Grace there would be nobody there to protect them.

She got up and walked over to the cupboard where she had put a few bottles of alcohol in various kinds. It was too high up for Grace to reach but she had still put a lock on it just to be sure. She opened it and grabbed a bottle of wine, pouring herself a third of a glass. After putting the bottle away again and locking the cupboard she walked back to the couch and sank down. It was Sunday night, tomorrow morning she had an early lecture and then in the afternoon she was going to take the first active step to getting an au pair. Until then Dorota had promised to baby-sit.

The first sip of wine felt like heaven. She really needed this after the weekend she had had. She closed her eyes and sighed, letting her head fall back. Then the peace and silence was broken by Grace beginning to cry in her new bedroom. With a groan Blair put her glass down on a coaster and got up to tend to her daughter.

* * *

><p>Two weeks later Blair found herself having to cram for an exam and decided to call Chuck and ask if he could take Grace on Thursday instead of Friday. He was more than happy to comply but then realized he had a business meeting that evening. Rather than telling Blair about it and finding some other solution he decided to find a baby-sitter. Even if he would be gone for a few hours in the evening he would still be able to spend all Friday with Grace and that was too good an opportunity to pass up on.<p>

He began to worry for a while when neither Belle nor Dorota nor Lily could baby-sit that night. When Serena cheerfully volunteered he didn't hesitate for too long before agreeing to it. She was quite good with Grace even though she didn't always seem entirely comfortable holding her and it was only for a few hours. When Thursday evening came he changed into a nicer suit, kissed his daughter on the cheek and headed out to his meeting while Serena stayed at home to look after her little niece.

When Chuck had left Serena gave Grace a tour of her closet which the baby seemed to enjoy. She reached out for any garment with a bright color and especially seemed fond of the red ones. But when she started trying to put them in her mouth Serena decided the tour had gone on long enough. She carried Grace back to the living room and sat down on the couch.

"Okay, there we go" Serena said, sitting Grace down on her lap. "You're having a good time with Aunt Serena, aren't you? Yeah. Let's watch the DVD."

She smiled at Grace and felt really confident. This was going splendidly. What had she been so nervous about?

Grace looked up at her and took the pacifier from her mouth.

"Dada?" she said.

"Your dad is out to dinner" Serena said with a cheerful smile. "You'll see him first thing tomorrow morning."

Grace looked contemplative for a second and then she looked back up at her auntie.

"Mama?"

"No… Mama's at school."

When Grace realized neither of her parents was near her face scrunched up and she began to cry. Serena sat baffled for a second. Everything had been going great just a minute ago. What had she done wrong?

"No don't cry sweetie!" she said, lifting the baby up for a hug. "Don't cry. Daddy will be home. He'll be home real soon, okay?"

Grace kept crying and Serena started to get really nervous. She had no idea what to do in this situation. She got up and started to walk back and forth with Grace the way she had seen Chuck, Blair and Bart do with her when she was smaller. It didn't have any effect whatsoever.

"Grace… Grace don't cry honey."

She let out a frustrated whimper and glanced at the time. It was barely time for entrees, Chuck's dinner wouldn't be over for another few hours. What on earth was she supposed to do now?

* * *

><p>"Now then, if we should…"<p>

Chuck drifted off mid-sentence when his phone started to ring. He made an excusing gesture to his dinner company and snuck the phone from his pocket, glancing down on it to see who was calling. It was Serena. He felt part worried, part annoyed, and looked back up at the others.

"If you would excuse me for just one moment" he said. "The babysitter's calling. I need to take this."

He got up and walked off while answering.

"What is it S?" he asked, hearing Grace's loud crying the second the call went through.

"Chuck I don't know what to do" Serena complained. "She started crying twenty minutes ago and nothing I can think of shuts her up."

"Did she hurt herself?" Chuck asked with a frown. "Is she hungry? Does she need a diaper change? You did check the diaper did you? I know it's gross but it's part of the deal until they're potty trained."

"It's not like that" Serena whined. "She asked for you and Blair and when you didn't come she started crying. Chuck I'm freaking out over here!"

"Relax" Chuck said. "If that's the only thing wrong with her then she'll be fine. Find some way of distracting her."

"I've tried but nothing works with your stupid child!" Serena said with frustration.

"Don't call my child stupid."

"I've tried nursery rhymes, I've tried toys, I've tried putting on '_Sesame Street_'… She just keeps screaming like a banshee."

"Find some way" Chuck said. "Serena I asked you if you could manage babysitting her and you assured me there wouldn't be a problem. I am in the process of buying a hotel here, I can't just run back home to soothe a baby and then expect them to still be here when I get back. It's not that hard to distract her sis, she's fifteen months old."

"But what should I do?" Serena complained, not picking up on the change in his business venue.

"Put her on the phone" Chuck said with a sigh.

"Huh?"

"It's worth a shot, just put her on the phone."

"Okay, hang on."

The screaming got louder and Chuck assumed the phone was now by Grace's ear. He wondered if this would help at all or if it would just make matters worse but apparently Serena was grossly incompetent and he needed to try something.

"Grace? Gracie can you hear me? Grace it's Dad." The crying halted. "Hi Grace. I'll be home with you as soon as I can okay? In the meantime Serena can read you a story. You're such a big girl now, you won't cry just because Mom and I are gone for a few hours."

Halfway through the last sentence the crying started again.

"It didn't work" Serena needlessly complained, back on the phone. "She looked around for you and when she couldn't find you she started all over again."

"Then I'm all out of ideas" Chuck said. "Serena I really need to get back to my meeting. There's nothing I can do from here, you'll have to figure something out. She's not hurt, she's not sick, she's just a bit clingy of Blair and me. It went fine up until now, just take her mind off it and you'll be okay. Bye now."

"But-"

He hung up and exhaled. It was heartbreaking hearing his baby crying like that over his and Blair's absence but there wasn't anything he could do about it. He hated abandonment more than anyone but they couldn't be with Grace every second of her life. She had to learn to be okay with someone babysitting her for a few hours. He glanced back at his dinner company and hoped the meeting would soon be over so he could go home and see her before she went to bed. He knew that wasn't a possibility though. By the time he got home she would have been asleep for hours.

* * *

><p>When he stepped off the elevator a few hours later the first thing he noticed was Serena sitting on a blanket on the floor, trying her best to entertain Grace with building blocks. He stopped and frowned while both girls looked up at him and he wondered what on earth the baby was doing up hours after her bedtime.<p>

"Chuck" Serena exhaled with relief. "Thank God. I thought you'd never get back."

Chuck took his coat off and walked closer. He was about to ask Serena why Grace was still up when she had clearly calmed down but then he looked over at the baby who was reaching out her arms to him and starting to cry again.

"Hey Gracie" he said and knelt to lift her up in his arms.

She wrapped her tiny little arms around his neck and buried her face against him, sobbing a little at first but then just making complaining noises. Serena got up as he gently shushed his daughter and felt guilty for having left her.

"There now dearie…" he said. "I'm home. You had fun with Aunt Serena, didn't you?"

"It was a nightmare" Serena said. "It took me over an hour to get her to start to calm down and since then she's only been quiet for like ten minutes at a time. She's kept looking at the elevator, trying to walk or crawl over to your room to see if you're there…"

"Poor baby" Chuck said. "Grace it wasn't so bad, was it?" He looked at Serena with a frown. "She's probably cranky because she's overly tired. Her bedtime was hours ago, what the hell is she still doing up?"

"You try putting her to bed when she's crying like that! Chuck this wasn't my fault. I didn't do anything bad."

"I know" he said. "But I would have appreciated it if you tried putting her to bed. You got her pajamas on so I guess that's something, but eventually she would have quieted down if you had put her in the crib."

"I don't know everything about babies!" Serena said, sounding about ready to start crying herself.

"Well she's okay now" Chuck said, deciding to drop the subject. Serena was right, it wasn't her fault Grace had started to cry for her parents. "I'm just going to put her to bed, take a shower and then get some sleep. You should get some sleep too. I know how exhausting it is to try and soothe a child when nothing seems to work."

"Sleep does sound nice" Serena said and smiled weakly. "Hey how did your meeting go?"

"You are now looking at the owner of the Empire hotel" Chuck said.

"_Owner_?" Serena echoed. "I thought you were looking to rent a place to have your new club, not buy real-estate."

"The Bass fortune was built on real-estate" Chuck said. "It's time I started trying to expand my daughter's inheritance. Besides, I want something within the company to be something I built and not just my father's work."

"Are you sure you can handle running a hotel on top of everything else?" Serena asked.

"I have no idea" Chuck admitted with a little laugh.

"Well…" Serena said, a bit too tired with members of the Bass family to want to dig deeper into the topic at present. "I'm heading off now. Goodnight Grace." She gave Chuck a worried look. "You don't think she really dislikes me now, do you?"

"Of course she doesn't" Chuck said. "It probably didn't matter who was with her tonight, the problem was that neither Blair nor I were here. She'll have forgotten it in the morning."

He walked to his bedroom with Grace and reached out a hand to close the door behind him. He could really use a shower but Grace was being really clingy and he was worried that even if he got her to go to sleep she might wake up while he was in the bathroom. He decided to shower first and put her to bed later. He could bring her into the shower with him, letting her sit on the floor while he washed himself quickly. It would require drying her off later too but it seemed like the favorable option.

Less than fifteen minutes later he was in his pajamas with Grace sitting on a towel on the bed while he tried his best to dry her hair with another towel. She had calmed down noticeably but it was clear that she needed to have gone to sleep hours ago. Now she was overly tired and that on its own made her cranky. He felt a sting of bad conscience over having left her for several hours but at the same time he was surprised. She had been without both him and Blair for a few hours before and it had usually been fine. Was her reaction tonight caused by the fact that she had never been left without them in the evening before?

"I'm sorry I was away" he told her. "I honestly thought you would do just fine with Serena. I had no idea you'd miss me that much. I missed you too."

"Mama" Grace whined.

"Well we both miss her. That's a given. Come on Hobbit, let's put your pajamas back on and then get us both into bed. I'm exhausted so I can only imagine how tired you must be. We'd better not tell Mommy you were up so far past your bedtime."

"Mama" Grace said in what was almost a sob.

Chuck rose and lifted her up into his embrace. He kept talking to her while he got her ready for bed again and then he walked over to her crib with her. When she realized she was about to be put in the crib she loudly complained and put her arms around his neck.

"You don't want to go to bed? Baby it's late."

He knew he needed to put her to bed but he couldn't bring himself to place what would no doubt be a screaming and protesting fifteen month-old in her crib and then just walk over to his own bed and try to ignore her. Instead he walked over to the light switch and switched it off, leaving the bed lamp on his nightstand the only source of light in the room. Still with Grace in his arms he walked over to his bed and used one hand to remove the towel she had been sitting on followed by the bedspread. He pulled the comforter down and took a seat on the bed. With a little coaxing he was able to get Grace to loosen her grip and he put her down on his bed.

"What do you say to sleeping in Daddy's bed tonight?" he asked.

He reached over to the nightstand and grabbed a pacifier. When he leaned over to put it in her mouth a few drops of water from his hair fell on Grace and she flinched at first but then laughed. He smiled, pleased to see her happy.

"Do you think I should dry my hair before I go to bed?" he asked. "No, I don't think I need to either. Let's just try and get some sleep. We can both use it."

He made himself comfortable next to her and pulled the comforter up. He reached over and turned the lights off then he curled up on his side next to Grace, wrapping an arm around her. He gave her forehead a kiss and was relieved that she didn't fuss.

"You're a good girl" he told her in the darkness. "This is kind of nice."

His eyes began to adjust to the darkness and he could see that she had closed hers and was about to drift off to sleep. He smiled contently and nuzzled her cheek for a second before closing his own eyes to get some much needed sleep.

* * *

><p>Blair hated group projects. She had thought that once she was in college she would be done with them but the class in psychology and pedagogic she had decided to take was apparently all about group efforts and team spirit. She had signed up for it only because she thought the pedagogic might be interesting to her as a parent but now she deeply regretted it. At the moment she had a report she needed to do together with two other people in her class and it seriously grated.<p>

At least she had managed to convince the other two that they should do their work from her apartment rather than the library. This way she didn't have to be away from the baby quite as much. Melissa and Geoff had both been hesitant but eventually they had caved. Blair had thought Melissa would melt over the idea of getting to spend time with an adorable one year-old but apparently she wasn't overly fond of children.

They were sitting on the couches by the coffee table going over the literature and the scientific articles Geoff had found. Grace was awake and moving around in the room with her mother and the other two students. So far she had been on her best behavior, quietly playing with a large teddybear on the floor with a pacifier in her mouth.

"I disagree that we should put our main focus on Piaget" Blair said to Melissa and Geoff. "It's too ordinary. Everybody's going to write about Piaget."

"For a reason" Melissa said in a snotty tone.

"Yeah, the reason being that it's so easy" Blair retorted. "We're going for A here. We need to think outside the box."

They kept debating what to put their focus on while Grace was getting bored on the floor. She got up and made her way over to Blair, reaching up her arms and calling for attention. Blair lifted her up in her arms and let her stand on her lap while she continued the discussion.

"Writing this about Piaget is like writing a psychology paper on Freud" she said, slightly annoyed. "Who hasn't?"

Grace began to pull on her earlobe. Blair tried to ignore it, by now used to the baby's various attempts at discovery and of getting attention. Grace then reached for her mother's nose and Blair moved her tiny hand away.

"I still vote Piaget" Geoff said. "Hell I spent hours finding good articles on his theories. Give me a break."

"The fact that it took you hours to do that is alarming" Blair noted dryly as Grace shoved her little hand in Blair's ear. "Ouch! Grace leave Mommy's ear alone."

"I thought you said the kid wouldn't be a bother" Melissa said.

"I thought people took this course because they're interested in the development and learning of children" Blair shot back.

"Mamamamamamamamamama!" Grace said in a loud voice, trying again to put her hand in Blair's ear.

"Shush Grace" Blair said, feeling both annoyed and a little embarrassed.

"Dada?" Grace asked cheerfully.

"No, Dada's not here" Blair said and lifted Grace down on the floor again. "Go play with your teddybear."

"She's a little hyper" Melissa said with no enthusiasm whatsoever.

"She is not" Blair frowned. "She's a one year-old. She's supposed to be this way. Which you would know if you had read the course literature."

"Can we get back to Piaget?" Geoff whined.

"Forget about Piaget" Blair snarled. "Where's your ambition? Aim higher. Let's set our sights on something _challenging_."

Grace shrieked loudly and Blair lifted her back up again, growing more and more annoyed with her baby.

"Maybe you should put her to bed and then we can focus?" Melissa suggested.

"It's not like there's an off-button" Blair pointed out. "It's not her bedtime for another couple of hours."

"Children nap."

"She napped before you got here."

"Haven't you heard about nannies?" Geoff asked.

"I'm getting an au pair but she won't arrive until January so until then Grace and I are at the mercy of Dorota."

"Where's her father?" Melissa wondered.

"Manhattan. Grace honey, don't pull my necklace. Be careful with that."

"Maybe we should go" Geoff said, sharing a look with Melissa. "We can get started on the project and when you have your… Dorota around we can look it over together."

"No don't go!" Blair frowned. "I intend on being as much part of this project as everyone else in our class."

"Yeah, but everyone else in our class doesn't have a baby" Melissa pointed out.

"She's just eager to explore" Blair said. "She's a really good baby but they have a right to be curious. She'll calm down in a minute."

"Even so…" Geoff said, rising from his seat, "I think it's better we left."

"We'll text you with our results!" Melissa said, eagerly following him towards the door.

Blair got up and began to follow them but Grace's wails halted her. She put the baby down next to the teddybear and hurried up to her classmates who were already getting their jackets.

"Look, this is stupid" she said.

"Blair don't worry about it" Geoff said generously. "We'll bring you up to speed tomorrow. Your daughter needs you more than we do right now."

They gathered the rest of their things and left before Blair could protest. She turned and eyed her daughter who was sitting still and quiet on the floor with a wide grin on her face.

"Oh now you're calm" Blair said and walked over to pick her up.

* * *

><p>"Christmas is coming up" Blair said, trying to sound casual. It was the first week of December and she had taken a long weekend to get started on her holiday shopping.<p>

"How very rude of it" Chuck said. "Like we don't have better things to do than trim trees and eat candy canes. The whole world just stops for a few days for no good reason."

"Yes, well, I was kind of hoping we could try to make Christmas a magical time for our child" Blair said, frowning at his attitude.

Chuck shrugged.

"She will be on the receiving end of presents. That's enough to make it magical when you're sixteen months old."

"I was thinking more along the lines of reindeer and snow and carols. And don't you dare tell her there is no Santa!"

He rolled his eyes at the hushed tone she said the last word in and leaned over to adjust the hat on Grace's head. They were out walking with her in the stroller, en route to get coffee and cake at a newly opened bakery. A slice of cake there cost $20 so Blair had decided it had to be a quality establishment.

"Chuck I think we should sit down and talk about who gets her over Christmas" Blair said pointedly.

"There's nothing to talk about" Chuck shrugged. "She'll be with you."

Blair gave him a surprised look.

"You're not going to fight me for her?"

"Why would I do that?" Chuck asked. "Christmas means a lot to you and it barely matters at all to me. If we want her to learn about the wonders of the holiday then I'd consider it counterproductive to have her be with me."

"But it's our daughter's first real Christmas" Blair said, not sure why she was arguing this point with him since she wanted to have the baby over the holidays.

"Are you aware of when she was born?"

"Last year she was four months old and could barely hold her own head up. This is the first year she'll be aware of what's going on around her."

"I wouldn't want you to miss out on that" Chuck said. "It matters less to me."

Blair studied him with her forehead wrinkled but he didn't elaborate any further. He downright hated Christmas and each year he wished he could simply pull the comforter over his head and sleep from mid-December to January. Christmas at the Bass residence had never been a particularly joyful event, even though a few nannies had attempted to make it such. Chuck knew Bart had missed his second, third and fourth Christmas, believing his son to be too young to care or notice that his father wasn't there. After that he had actually been at home for Christmas every year up until Chuck was thirteen, at which point he had probably figured there was no point in upholding the charade any longer. Christmas to Chuck had always meant uncomfortably formal meals with his father and gift openings where Chuck had always suspected his father was hoping he would hurry up so he could go off and do some work. Sometimes this scene also included a tremendously homesick au pair, which didn't exactly help brighten spirits, and Uncle Jack who would sometimes try to hit on said au pair.

When he was thirteen Chuck had gone away on a ski trip with a Jewish classmate over Christmas and had found it a relief to not have to celebrate the holiday. Bart seemed to have taken that as a sign that he didn't need to make an effort around Christmas since the holiday didn't matter much to his son and after that Christmases had actually been more bearable. The last Christmas before his father died Chuck had been abroad, nursing his freshly broken heart over Blair. He knew Bart had done the whole gift opening thing with Lily, Eric and Serena and even though it had been Chuck's decision to leave the country, and he hadn't even given his father a heads up that he was going anywhere, it had stung to know Bart had shared a family moment with his girlfriend and her children but without Chuck. Still, that had been a fairly good Christmas by Chuck's standards. Nate had shown up two days before Christmas and they had spent the holiday together. Most of the few happy Christmas memories Chuck had from childhood had taken place at the Archibald residence on Christmas Eve when Anne and the Captain had treated him like a member of the family. It had been a welcome refuge from his own lack of a traditional family celebration of the holiday. That year in Monaco it had been Chuck who offered Nate some refuge by spending Christmas together Bass family style. It had also been one of the last really good times he had spent with Nate before the pregnancy bomb detonated.

"Charles?" Blair said, drawing out the name into a two-syllable one, bringing him back to the present.

"Why are you full-naming me?" he asked, slightly confused.

"Because I've said '_Chuck_' five times in the past minute and you didn't react" Blair said. "Whatever it is you were thinking about to zone out completely like that, it better not be something that involves nudity."

"Sadly, no, it didn't."

"Mama!" Grace said. "Want doggy!"

Blair glanced over at the golden retriever passing by. Grace had leaned forward in her stroller and was pointing at it.

"No dogs, sweetie" Blair said. "They're only fun for fifteen minutes and then they're just demanding."

"Kitty?" Grace asked, turning to look at her mother.

"No kitties either."

"How about a goldfish?" Chuck suggested.

"Go… fish" Grace said, in a tone that suggested she was giving it some serious consideration. "Doggy?" she then returned to.

"Oh look, we're here" Blair said, relieved to have arrived at the bakery and not have to answer more questions about doggies.

They stopped and Blair leaned over to lift Grace up from the stroller. While Chuck busied himself with folding their child's transportation Blair studied the baby and wondered why it didn't feel like a complete victory to know that she would be getting to have Grace for Christmas. It wasn't that she was upset with Chuck for not expressing any particular desire to get to be with Grace. It felt more like being sad for him for not looking forward to the holidays.

"Chuck I was thinking…" she said. "For Christmas, why don't you-"

"I'm going to Barcelona over Christmas" Chuck cut her off. "So whatever it is you plan on saying, the answer is probably going to be 'no'."

"Barcelona? Why? Why didn't you mention this sooner?"

"How I spend Christmas is none of your business" he said shortly. He had decided to go abroad for Christmas about twenty seconds before he just said it, and didn't care to go into detail on the when and why.

"Fine, but I just thought that after last year-"

"Do you want a cup of coffee and ridiculously expensive cake, or not?" he asked, clearly irritated.

"Let's just go inside" Blair sighed.

"Doggy" Grace insisted.

Blair made a face. She had been looking forward to a nice cup of coffee and delicious cake in the company of her adorable daughter and the boy she pseudo-secretly loved. Instead she was getting the company of an unreasonably sullen Chuck Bass and a toddler whose new great desire was to have a dog. As if the logistics of life weren't complicated enough without adding a golden retriever to the mix.

"Are you sure about this place?" Chuck asked once they were inside. "It looks awfully empty for the new hot spot."

"It's a café, not a club."

"It's a bore" Chuck concluded and took a seat.

"Bo?" Grace asked.

"It's something that's boring."

"You've got a wonderful pedagogical side" Blair sniped.

"Do you want cake and coffee or not?" Chuck asked sullenly.

"What a wonderful outing this is turning into" Blair said with a sarcastic smirk.

Chuck made a face and wished he had brought a flask to turn his coffee Irish. He opened the bag they had brought for the baby and fished out a couple of toys. Dorota had packed toy animals, one of which was a dog, which Grace was very excited about.

"Woof, woof!" she said, grabbing the toy.

"I'm not buying her a dog" Blair said, crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't care so long as _I_ don't have to buy a dog" Chuck replied.

"Woof!" Grace said, playing excitedly with the toy. She held it up to Chuck. "Woof Dada! Woof, woof!"

"Woof yourself" he said.

"Mama!" Grace went on. "Woof, woof! Want woof!"

"You _have_ woof" Blair said, nodding to the toy.

"Want woof. Doggy!"

"I want a cappuccino" Blair said.

Grace picked up a toy fox and studied it for a second. Then she held it up to Chuck.

"Woof?" she asked.

"See how bright she is?" Blair remarked.

"You're right Grace" Chuck nodded. "Foxes technically go woof too. Good girl."

With a contemplative look on her face Grace picked up a pig and held it up.

"Woof?"

"Oink" Chuck corrected. Then he sighed and rolled his eyes to Blair. "I cannot believe I just said '_oink_' at a public place."

Blair suddenly felt her bad mood vanish and burst out laughing. The combination of Chuck's facial expression and what he had just said was too comical to maintain a straight face. Chuck looked puzzled at her sudden amusement but Grace laughed too and cried '_oink_' a few times while waving the toy pig in the air.

"Care to tell me what was so amusing?" Chuck asked before shushing Grace.

Blair just shook her head through her laughter. After a moment the corners of Chuck's mouth began to turn upward as well. He even managed to send a bright smile to the waitress who came to take their order.

"My, my" she said with a smile. "Looks like spirits are high here. Can I take your order?"

"A cappuccino" Blair said. "And… a slice of chocolate cake."

"I'll have a latte" Chuck said. "No pastries."

"And the little lady?"

"She'll have a German shepherd if you have one."

"I don't think that's on the menu" the waitress said with a thoughtful frown.

"Never mind" Chuck smirked.

The waitress disappeared and Blair searched through Grace's bag to find a bottle of juice. She placed it in front of Grace who dropped the pig and grabbed both handles on the bottle. Blair managed to get her bib on before she lifted the bottle to her mouth.

"Are you sure you don't want to reconsider Barcelona?" Blair asked.

"Positive. It's just any other day of the year, Blair. Grace is too little to know what it's all about and you know I don't give a damn about the holidays."

"She doesn't know _yet_ what it's about" Blair argued. "You'll miss out on all the excitement and seeing how happy she is when the day arrives. Besides, think of the future. Don't you want her to see pictures of you around for Christmas when she's older and looking through photo albums? You've already missed her first Christmas."

"Fine, I'll think about it" Chuck said with no intention of doing so.

"I hope you mean that."

He didn't answer, focusing on wiping the baby's face clean of juice. Christmas this year was not just Christmas, it was also just after the anniversary of his father's death. He really didn't think he would be able to fake merriment this year and Grace was probably better off without his presence. Next year he could reevaluate. The older she got the more important the holidays would become to her and he had no intention of standing her up for things that mattered to her. This year however it didn't matter to Grace and therefore he considered it unimportant that he should be present.

"We can talk about it more another time" he said as the waitress approached with their order. "Let's just try the coffee, shall we?"

* * *

><p>On Christmas Day Blair dressed Grace up in a red velvet dress with a matching bowtie and almost grabbed her phone to take a picture and send it to Chuck. Then she changed her mind, deciding that if he wanted to be part of Grace's Christmas it was his damn responsibility to do something about it. She lifted her daughter up and carried her downstairs to open up their presents. Cyrus and her mother were there and so was Dorota. It was pretty much the way it had been last year, including Chuck's stocking being empty. It was still in its box in Blair's closet, waiting for whatever year Chuck would decide to partake in the festivities.<p>

As Blair had predicted Grace loved Christmas morning. The gifts themselves were of little interest to her but the wrapping paper and the bows were an endless source of fascination and she seemed to love the sounds she was able to make but jamming her hands into the pile of paper. She kept at it for almost an hour straight and screamed loudly when Dorota tried to gather up all the garbage. Eventually she grew more hungry than playful and Eleanor was able to move her from the floor to her high chair for some early lunch.

"Pity Charles couldn't join us this year" she remarked dryly as everyone sat down to eat.

"Yes, pity" Blair agreed, helping Grace eat her lunch.

"At least last year he had an excuse" Eleanor went on. "Losing your only parent at such a young age would throw you off your balance. This year I see no reason why he wasn't here to watch Grace open up her presents."

"He hates Christmas and thinks Grace is too young to know what it's about anyway" Blair said. "At the end of the day it's his loss."

"Sometimes I worry about that boy's mental stability" Eleanor muttered. "It's a bit disconcerting that my granddaughter spends so much time alone with him."

"He's her father, Mother" Blair pointed out, glaring at Eleanor.

"Yes, and he's an eighteen year-old who's not in college and is not exactly emotionally stabile. I hope you're on your guard."

"He would never do anything to hurt Grace" Blair protested.

She continued to help the baby with her food while thinking several unflattering things about Chuck for standing them up on Christmas. Next year he was definitely not going to get away with it.

* * *

><p>Chuck lifted Grace up and carried her into the doctor's office. It was the first time he had taken her for one of her check-ups; Blair had always gone in the past but today she wasn't able to. Chuck wasn't sure he liked taking his daughter to one of these things. He knew she was getting a vaccination, which he did not look forward to, and he didn't like the idea of his baby being scrutinized by a doctor and a nurse. But there was no way around it.<p>

"Mr. Bass good day" Dr. Harrison said without bothering to get up from his seat by the computer. "How is Grace today?"

"Sleepy" Chuck said. "She fell asleep in the car on the way over."

"Most of us do in New York City traffic" the extremely cheerful elderly nurse clucked. Chuck disliked her at first glance. "This is the first time I've seen you here Mr. Bass."

"Grace's mother usually handles these checkups" Chuck said, taking a seat with his cranky daughter in his arms.

"I'm glad I finally get to meet you" the nurse said. "I like seeing how both parents interact with the child. Attachment is so important."

"So what do you want to start with?" Chuck asked Dr. Harrison, done with the nurse.

"How is she doing?" Dr. Harrison asked, abandoning his computer and turning around in his chair to look at his patient. "Has she been feeling well lately?"

"She's… as always" Chuck said, feeling like they were trying to find signs that him and Blair were bad parents.

"Sleeps okay, eats okay?"

"For an eighteen month-old."

"Well let's find out" Dr. Harrison said. "Let's see how much you weigh, Grace."

Chuck got up and walked over to the changing table. He put Grace down on it and she fussed. Without talking to the doctor or the nurse he took off her clothes and lifted her up in his arms. She wrapped her arms around him and grabbed a hold of his shirt.

"Okay now what?" Chuck asked.

"Put her on the scale, please" the nurse said.

Chuck carried Grace over to the scale and sat her down on it. She kept her arms around his neck and protested loudly when he untangled her. She didn't start to cry but she was definitely not happy about it. Once she had been weighed Chuck lifted her up again.

"I can't believe we start making a big deal of how much they weigh when they're this little" he muttered under his breath.

"We monitor their growth to make sure they are getting the right amount of nutrients and to make sure there's nothing else wrong" Dr. Harrison said.

"And now?"

"Now we measure her" the nurse said. "Lay her down here."

Chuck tried to lay her down on the measuring board but this time she was even more reluctant to let go of him. She began to cry and fidget and despite the nurse's best efforts she refused to be quiet and lay still.

"Would you mind holding her head?" the nurse asked.

Chuck shot her a look, finding this more than a little unsettling, but obediently tried to help hold his daughter still. After a while the nurse was able to get a measurement and Chuck could lift his screaming child up again. Once she was back in his arms Grace quieted.

"She's Daddy's girl I see" Dr. Harrison noted.

"Can I get her dressed again?" Chuck asked, not in the mood for socializing.

"Go right ahead."

Chuck parked Grace on the changing table again but let her remain standing. She stood with a firm grip on his shoulders while he struggled to get her clothes back on, at the back of his mind promising himself that he would never go to one of these checkups again. Grace was cranky and her cheeks were wet but she stayed mostly silent while her father dressed her. Chuck then lifted her up in his arms and took a seat with her in his lap.

"Okay, can we get the shot and leave?" he said.

"Just a few questions first…" Dr. Harrison said. "I know she began to speak at an early age. How many words does she say?"

"Many" Chuck said. "I don't keep count… but she can put words together in short sentences and she seems to learn new words every day."

"Children usually don't start forming sentences until a bit later" the doctor remarked.

"My daughter's above average."

The nurse rolled her eyes at the complete seriousness in his voice but he could care less what she thought.

"I read in the books that children her age can say like ten words or so but Grace says far more than that" Chuck said, adjusting Grace's top. "She learns new ones all the time. Her vocabulary is really extensive."

Dr. Harrison made a few notes in the chart and then looked up.

"Can she build with blocks?"

"Not all that much" Chuck said. "She can put two on top of each other and that's about it."

"Two is good. How is her walking?"

"Better, although it's mostly a trot or a slow stumble. She gets really pissed when her legs don't carry her the way she wants them to and more often than not she'll stop trying and stick to her version of crawling instead."

"Early talker, late walker" the doctor noted.

"Unlike her father" Chuck commented. "I was the other way around."

"Can she follow simple commands?"

"She can go get my scarf if I ask her to."

"Your scarf?" the nurse echoed.

"It's… like her security blanket" Chuck said, sighing at the frown on her face. "I don't like it any more than you do."

"And what about other types of commands?" the doctor asked. "If she's asked to point to a body part on someone can she do that?"

"Grace where is Daddy's nose?" Chuck asked.

Grace gave him a look like he was a moron and reached for a ladybug toy sitting on the table next to them. Chuck picked it up and held it up to his face, trying to get her eyes to go there.

"Gracie where is Daddy's nose?" he asked again.

She reached up and accidentally smacked him on the nose, then grabbed the ladybug and studied it with interest.

"That's good enough" Dr. Harrison chuckled.

"She likes the color red" Chuck said. "Whenever she sees something in that color she'll go for it."

"It's a very pretty color, isn't it Grace?" the doctor grinned.

"You should have seen her when she smacked her hand in ketchup and smeared it all over" Chuck said. "Nothing pretty about that. Are we done with the third degree now?"

"I'm asking these questions to keep an eye on her development" Dr. Harrison said. "I think I got everything I needed."

"Good. If there's nothing else then give her the shot please so we can be on our way."

"Are you in a hurry?" the nurse asked.

"I want to get it over with" Chuck said recoiling when Grace almost hit him in the eye with the ladybug.

"I understand" the doctor chuckled. "I can assure you though that it's worse on you than it is on her. She has no idea what's coming."

Chuck wasn't so sure about that. The nurse prepared the injection while the doctor exposed Grace's arm and cleaned a patch of skin with some alcohol and Grace gave him a very skeptic look and pulled her arm free. She seemed to have some idea of what was going on and didn't like it. This wasn't going to be very pleasant.

"It's okay, Grace" Chuck said and caressed the back of her head. "You've done this before and you've survived."

"Okay, young lady" the doctor said. "Dad, why don't you take a firm hold of her so she doesn't squirm and this will all be over in just a second."

Grace's high-pitched screams a few seconds later made Chuck wonder if anything this doctor said could be considered reliable. He managed to get Grace's arm back into her sleeve while she cried with indignation and pain, swearing to himself that he would never bring her to another doctor if needles were in any way involved. That would have to be Blair's specialty.

* * *

><p>That evening Blair and Grace both came to spend the night at Chuck's new penthouse suite at the Empire hotel. They were getting concerned about all the moving around she was doing so they had agreed that it was in the baby's best interest to have both parents around for the first few days in this new environment.<p>

"Grace has become so clingy lately" Blair complained, walking out of the guest bedroom. "It's like she needs me to mother her all around the clock."

"Well you are away a lot" Chuck said, looking up from his newspaper. "That's just the reality of the situation. She doesn't see you enough during the weeks when you're in school and I have her during weekends."

"I am not a bad mother" Blair said defensively.

"And I am not Bob Woodward."

"What?"

"Oh, my mistake. I thought we were randomly throwing out declarations of things we were not."

She made a face at him and sat down. He chuckled.

"I didn't say that you are a bad mom. You should be glad that she's so clingy with you. When she starts to be indifferent to you, that's when it's time to be concerned."

"You think she's going to start being indifferent to me?" Blair asked worriedly.

"I hope not. But you are away a lot."

Blair was quiet for a long time, biting her bottom lip and staring out the window. Chuck continued reading his paper. He knew she was troubled but he had no intention of sugar coating anything for her.

"I've always dreamt of Yale…" Blair finally said. "Giving it up, I just… I just don't know if I have it in me to do that."

Chuck looked up from his paper and folded it.

"I keep telling you to defer. Yale will still be there a year from now. I wish you could have it all Blair but sadly we're not living in a romantic comedy. How many mothers do you know of who go to Yale a year after giving birth?"

"I can have it all" Blair said. "If you would only consider going to New Haven with me. Grace can be with you while I'm in class and we can split the weekends more evenly."

Chuck rolled his eyes and rose from his seat. Blair got up as well.

"Chuck I'm serious about this. You, me and the baby, we could get a place together or I can cancel the au pair and you can take her room. We can both see Grace every single day, like we did during summer."

"I'm not going to play house with my non-girlfriend" Chuck said, pouring himself a drink. "Especially not the playing-house edition where I sit around the house all day long throwing away my youth while you're out frolicking among your Yale-mates."

"Spending all day with Grace is throwing away your youth?"

"I'm not cut out for the whole housewife thing" Chuck argued. "You forget I have business here in New York. I have the hotel, you know, the one we're currently in. For me to move to New Haven makes about as much sense as for you to transfer to NYU."

"Well we've got to do something" Blair complained. "This arrangement isn't working."

"It is for me" Chuck said. "I'm safely rooted in New York. You're the one who insists on going back and forth like a mad yoyo."

"Actually I believe I am the one kind enough to let you have the baby here with you on weekends while I go off to get an education. At least one of us has to set a good example for her and actually make something of our lives."

"Yeah you're so kind and generous. And so bound by the custodial agreement. Don't try to fool me even for a second that you wouldn't waste any time moving her to New Haven with you permanently if you had the legal option."

"Hey, better that she lives full time with me than with you. I'm her mother and you are that guy who ditched her for almost a full month last year."

"Oh we're bringing _that_ up?"

Blair had a very smarting reply at the tip of her tongue but before she could get a word out the baby started to call for her.

"Would you look at that?" she said to Chuck. "Grace wakes up and she calls for _me_."

"Too bad you're not here all the other times during the course of a week when she calls for you" Chuck shot back.

Blair ignored him and hurried into the bedroom. Grace was fidgeting in her crib.

"Mommy" she complained.

"What is it sweetie?" Blair asked, leaning over the crib.

"Thiwwy."

"Thirsty? It's after bedtime, sweetie" Blair said. "You can have water, I guess."

"No."

"I'll go get some for you, okay?"

"_No_!"

"I'll just be in the bathroom, pouring you a glass of water."

"No."

Unsure of what else to do Blair lifted the baby up into her arms. This immediately stopped the fidgeting.

"You want water from the kitchen?" Blair asked, getting a nod in response. "Okay. But then you have to go to sleep, okay?"

Grace nodded and wrapped her arms around Blair's neck, burying her face at the nape. Blair walked out to the other room and headed for the kitchen. Chuck put his tumbler down on the pool table and followed.

"What's wrong, dearie?" he asked Grace.

"She wants water" Blair said.

In the kitchen she opened a cabinet and grabbed Grace's favorite cup. It was bring red and had Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer on it but trying to tell the baby that it was a Christmas cup was a waste of energy. Grace liked it and so they continued to use it. Blair filled the cup up with water, which was easier said than done while holding an eighteen month-old.

"Don't fill it all the way up" Chuck objected.

Blair gave him a look and poured some of the water down the drain.

"And she wants ice."

"No she doesn't" Blair snorted.

"She always has ice nowadays" Chuck said.

"Since when?"

"Since a few months ago."

"Fine, then you do it" Blair snarled.

She walked back towards the living room while Chuck picked up the cup she had put back down on the counter. Grace protested and reached out her hand towards the cup.

"Thiwwy!"

"Chuck is going to get you water" Blair said, refusing to refer to him as '_Dad_' right now. "We'll wait for him in the other room."

"Thiwwy!"

Blair ignored her complaints and sat down on the couch, placing Grace next to her. A few seconds later Chuck came out with the cup, now half-filled with water and with two ice-cubes in it. He handed it to Grace who took a large sip.

"How's that?" Chuck asked her.

"Bababa" Grace said.

"Super."

He moved to take a seat next to Grace, but Blair shook her head and harked.

"You go sit over there" she said and nodded to the other end of the couch.

Chuck rolled his eyes but obeyed. Grace drank her water slowly, taking one sip then waiting for almost a minute before taking the next. Blair was starting to lose her patience and the fact that Chuck was looking at Grace without a trace of impatience or boredom only fueled Blair's irritation.

Chuck was well aware of what Grace was doing. She was taking her sweet time with the water because the water was mainly an excuse to get to stay up for a while and sit with Blair. He couldn't for the life of him understand how Blair could choose any college or education above being with their daughter and he resented her for making their year and a half-old daughter employ the same kind of tactics Chuck had used with Bart when he was little to get his father to spend more time with him.

"That's enough water" Blair said after almost ten minutes. "Drink more and you'll need to go to the bathroom in the middle of the night."

"She wears diapers" Chuck pointed out.

"I know that" Blair said. "But she shouldn't get accustomed to having lots of water before going to bed. If you've been giving her ice water right before her bedtime then stop that immediately. Clearly things go to crap around here whenever I leave."

Chuck sighed and rolled his eyes yet again while Blair put the cup on the coffee table and got up from the couch.

"Sweet dreams, dearie" Chuck said.

Blair took the baby back to the bedroom and stopped by the crib.

"Grace, you're going to have to let go of Mommy, okay?" she said. "Time for you to go back to sleep."

Grace shook her head and wrapped her tiny arms tighter around Blair's neck.

"Grace don't be difficult" Blair said. "You need to let me put you back down into bed. You've got to get lots of rest or you won't be rested for our day of fun tomorrow."

"No" Grace said, looking up at her mother and pointing to the bed Blair slept in during the weekends.

"Honey I won't be going to bed yet so you wouldn't be sleeping next to me."

"Daddy."

"Daddy and I have some things we need to talk about" Blair said. "You will be fast asleep by the time I go to bed."

"No!" Grace whined and pointed again to where she wanted to be put.

Blair frowned and was barely able to keep in a sigh. She refused to put the baby down in a large bed all by herself.

"Daddy yes" Grace said in a sad, small voice.

"Okay" Blair caved. "I will move you to my bed when I go to sleep. But just this once, okay? And you have to promise you will go to bed right now."

She realized there was no point in trying to reason with a person who wasn't even two years old, but she still hadn't quite gotten used to Grace being able to speak in something resembling sentences. Grace loosened her grip and Blair was able to put her down in the crib and pull the comforter up to her neck.

"No" Grace protested.

"Later. I promise. Which stuffed animal do you want?"

"Buh."

The bug was the bumblebee Serena had bought way back when. Blair grabbed it from the foot of the bed and tucked it in with the baby.

"There we go. Now sweet dreams Grace. I love you."

Blair placed a kiss on two of her finger tips and then placed the fingers against Grace's lips. The little girl looked sullen but at least didn't protest further. Blair caressed her cheek and then walked back out to Chuck, who had grabbed his tumbler again.

"I don't care" Blair said.

"About what?"

"I don't care what the custody arrangement says. We can't keep going with all this back and forth. It's not good for her."

"I could not agree more."

"You agree?"

"Most definitely."

"I cannot tell you how relieved I am to hear that" Blair said, taking a seat. "I'll put the brakes on the au pair thing and you can move out to New Haven as soon as possible."

"Wait, hold it for a second bulldog" Chuck said, holding up a hand in protest. "I said I agreed that the situation is untenable; I never said anything about moving."

"Then I don't understand."

"She belongs here, on Manhattan. With parents who have time for her."

"If I had known you were nothing but an old fashioned women-should-be-chained-to-the-stove-and-the-crib ass before I slept with you that night in the limo would never have happened" Blair snarled.

"It feels like we're going over this time and time again; I do not care if you want to go to Yale so long as you don't do it at such a critical stage in her life. And please God don't go near the stove, you probably can't cook worth a crap."

"I'll have you know I make an excellent apple pie."

"Right. One of the major food groups."

"You know what, that is not even the issue here" Blair said. "We can't keep this up. I _will_ have my daughter with me and I won't have her going back and forth several times a week and I don't give a damn what you or any court of law has to say. You can come to New Haven to see her during the weekends instead of me bringing her here."

"Hold the phone, why does her not commuting mean her being in New Haven?"

"Because I'm her mother and that is the most important thing in the world."

"Aside from Yale or we wouldn't be in this predicament."

"Ensuring my future ensures her future."

"Did New York suddenly run out of Ivy League colleges? Transfer to Columbia if Grace really does mean more to you than Yale."

"I have a better idea."

"I warn you Waldorf, I will declare full on war if you so much as try to move her off the island of Manhattan full-time, let alone to another state."

"I find it interesting that all of a sudden you're the poster child for a devoted father when last year you seemed to find it exhausting to spend more than an hour at a time with her" Blair shot back.

"Last year is irrelevant. We're talking about right now."

"Right now I'm going to find a way to keep my daughter's life stabile and get my degree at Yale" Blair said. "Now if you'll excuse me, I am done talking to you. I'm going to bed."

"Go ahead, but keep in mind that no matter what you come up with the baby is not permanently relocating. You'd have better success convincing Yale to let you study from Manhattan."

"That would defeat the point of going to Yale, now would it?"

"Oh so it's the _campus_ you're after. Here I thought it was the education."

"Like you would even understand. You barely finished high school."

"I understand where my priorities should be."

"Do you seriously want me to give up my entire life, throw away my entire future, and focus all on just being Grace's mom? I'm not cut out for the housewife thing so what am I supposed to do when she turns six and heads off to kindergarten? Or when she's all grown up and doesn't need me anymore?"

"Maybe you could go to Yale then" Chuck said dryly.

"And what, be in my thirties when I graduate?"

"Solve the problem whichever way you want to. Just remember that Grace belongs here on Manhattan and while I'm okay with her staying in New Haven with you a few days a week I'm not letting her move there permanently. Now if there is nothing further you would like to add I am going to bed."

"Not before _I_ go to bed" Blair said snottily and strode off to her bedroom.

"Whichever way you want it" Chuck said to the empty room and walked slowly to his own bedroom.

* * *

><p>Hope that didn't suck =) Thanks for reading!<p> 


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